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Friday, December 29, 2006

Computer's Back Up!!! (With Warnings)

Greetings to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

The computer is fixed!!!

I called the Hewlett-Packard technical support number, and a fellow in India assisted me.

I had to reformat the entire hard drive, but most of my data was saved, as I had it either duplicated on my notebook, stored on my flash drive, or stored at Internet web sites.

I'm still not connected to the Internet, but I did call the cable TV company to come connect me.

The cable TV guy was supposed to return my call, but didn't, so I reckon it'll be another week or so, since you can never get anything done during or around holiday weekends.

Anyway, I have my computer back, and all I need now is to get it connected.

Since I'm getting my Internet connection from the cable TV company, I've decided to go whole hog and buy the complete high definition cable TV package.

One reason I'm writing this e-mail is to warn all you folks.

I learned two (02) important things from this experience.

First, if you are using Windows XP, do NOT perform any maintenance, unless specifically directed by your computer!

The operating system takes care of itself, so anything you do will only damage the files.

Second, do NOT upgrade your Microsoft Internet Explorer browser from Version Six (06) to Version Seven (07)!!!

According to the Hewlett-Packard technical support guy in India, there's something very wrong with it, and Hewlett-Packard is warning all customers against installing it.

However, the Windows Office 2007 that I recently downloaded is safe.

But, that program was lost during reformatting, so when I get back on the Internet, I'll have to download it again.

In fact, I have a LOT of stuff to do when I get back on the Internet, as I'll need to once again update all of my software.

By the way, I must commend that fellow in India, because he really helped me, and it was a lot of work, as we repeatedly tried numerous different techniques before we were finally successful in bringing up a screen we could work with.

He must have been on the phone with me for over an hour, and had almost given up, advising me on how to ship my computer to the factory, when he decided to try one last thing - - - which worked.

So, whoever that guy was, I really am grateful to him, and he was good - - - VERY good!!!

Well, a "Good Hogmanay!" to y'all!

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Alternative Solutions - - - Maybe?

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Well, I finally figured out why I can't get my taskbar or anything else to show up on my screen.

My computer is not booting up all the way.

It gets as far as the desktop wallpaper, and then it stops loading.

I've tried unsuccessfully to go into the DOS properties, but the start-up screen only momentarily flashes, and won't stay up, even when I'm pressing the "F-8" key.

I also tried pressing the "F-1" key and the "F-11" key, with the same result, i.e., a momentary glimpse of the desired screen, after which it continues loading, until the desktop wallpaper appears, at which point, it stops loading.

Mox nix.

(Heh! Heh! Can you tell I was once a G.I. stationed in Germany?)

I disconnected everything on my desktop and set it to one side, out of the way.

Then I hooked up my notebook, and sure enough, I'm able to watch it on my big television screen, hear it through the TV's stereo speakers, and use my wireless keyboard and wireless mouse, just as if I was using a desktop.

However, I can't use my web camera, because I never loaded the software into the notebook, expecting to only use the web camera with just my desktop.

Mox nix.

Maybe I'll buy another web camera for the notebook.

I still want to get my desktop back to normal, because when I travel, I can use my notebook to observe my room here at the Old Soldiers' Home, since the web camera would be mounted on the desktop and left fully operational, functioning as a security camera.

Neat, huh?

IF I can get it repaired and working!

Well, it's Christmas, so you can bet I won't get anything done for at least a couple of more weeks.

Since the free wi-fi signal I was using is gone, I reckon I'll call the cable TV company and pay a bunch of money for their high speed Internet and their high definition TV channels.

There's still a couple of strong wi-fi signals available, but they're encrypted, so I can't use them.

Why, oh why, doesn't the Soldiers' Home install wi-fi routers so the residents could all have free Internet access in each of their rooms?

Why doesn't the Soldiers' Home wake up and realize that they need to accommodate the Viet Nam veterans and the Gulf War veterans, and that WE are the Rock 'n' Roll computer generation, with cell phones?

I still think whatever the problem is with my desktop, it HAS to be something VERY simple, and easily corrected, if only I can figure it out.

I appreciate the responses and suggestions I have thus far received, especially those offered in the International War Veterans' Poetry Archives discussion forum.

So, in the meantime, I'm using these public access computers provided by the Soldiers' Home, and these computers are MESSED UP!!!

All of the software is WAY out of date, and I doubt if anybody is ever performing even the most basic maintenance.

Even the hardware is unpredictable.

I had to change computers to type this e-mail, because the mouse port on the other computer has gone kaput.

Sure, I can compose an e-mail, and I can read e-mails that are sent to me.

But, I can't do the "SATURDAY STUMPER" crossword puzzle at the "CHICAGO SUN-TIMES" newspaper's web site.

That's my favorite puzzle.

I also like the "SUNDAY CHALLENGER" crossword puzzle in the "WASHINGTON POST" newspaper, and all of the crossword puzzles in the Sunday edition of the "LOS ANGELES TIMES" newspaper.

I love doing cryptograms and codewords, but those are hard to find on the Internet, and when I solve them, it's a long long time before I can find another.

I avoid TV crossword puzzles, because I consider them silly.

Why would the Soldiers' Home block access to crossword puzzles?

There has been a problem with guys using these computers for pornography and gambling, so yes, the Soldiers' Home blocked access to those sites (I think).

But blocking crossword puzzles?

Why would they do such a thing?

I need my mental exercise!

I need a challenge for my brain.

Oh well, when I get things fixed up in my room, then I can do things the way I want.

By the way, if'n any of y'all got any suggestions, I'm still listening.

I wonder if it would be cheaper to buy another desktop than to have mine repaired?

I'm sure glad I have that notebook and that it works with my big screen TV.

I'm also glad (even if I grumble and gripe) that the Soldiers' Home has these public computers for us to use.

All this unexpected trouble is nickel and diming me into the poorhouse.

My savings will soon be gone, and I still ain't ordered my kilt yet, which WILL be expensive.

If I spend all my money, how will I get back out to the "High Lonesome" in the Great American West, which if'n I had my 'druthers, is where I really prefer to be?

Xin loi.

(That phrase shows you I was a G.I. in Viet Nam - - - Heh! Heh!)

I do still want to get my kilt.

So, "Nollaig Cridheil, y'all!"

(Pronounced "Nowl-eek Kree-yell", that is Scottish Gaelic for "Christmas Hearty!")

I hope y'all are surrounded by young'uns and you're having a real good time.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Calling All Geeks!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Haaaallp!!!

Oh, by the way, Merry Christmas, or "Nollaig Cridheil, y'all!"

I'm sitting here using the public access computers provided for us residents by the Soldiers'Home.

That's because MY computer is totally on the fritz.

First of all, my wi-fi connection has gone.

That's no big deal, because I can call Comcast and order a regular high-speed Internet connection, along with high definition cable.

It'll be expensive (my wi-fi connection was FREE!!!), but at least, it'll be dependable.

Today, I was listening to Christmas music on my computer, using the Windows Media Player.

Nothing unusual, right?

Suddenly, the music stopped.

When I checked, I had lost ALL sound on the computer, and there was a large icon of a speaker with a big red "X" on it, and the icon stayed on top of every window and program I opened.

So, I decided to do an anti-spyware scan, followed by an anti-virus scan, followed by a disk clean up, followed by a disk defrag, followed by a reboot.

Because this would take some time, I switched over to watch television, as my television and my computer monitor are the same thing.

As I switched, I saw the icon disappear, and I knew the problem was solved.

Sure enough, a little later, when I switched back to my computer, I had my normal sounds back.

So, now what's the problem?

I went ahead and did all that maintenance, and when I rebooted, I had my normal Christmas Nativity desktop wallpaper, but - - -

I had no taskbar, hence no "Start" menu, and when right clicking my mouse on the screen, there was no response.

I kept trying to fix the problem by doing the "three finger salute" (ALT, CTRL, DELETE), but each restart resulted in the same thing.

I have sound, but with no taskbar and no right click display menu, I can do nothing with my screen.

By monkeying around, I did manage to run a systems diagnostic check with my PC Doctor program, which indicates nothing wrong - - - , except I can NOT open my Control Panel.

I can see the icon, but it won't respond.

I tried running my System Restore disc, but the first time, nothing happened, and the second time, I got only a blank blue screen.

Microsoft only markets the Windows XP Media Center Edition installed in new computers, and not as separate software, so how can I repair or restore whatever needs fixing?

What I need is for my taskbar to come back on my screen, so I can access my "Start" menu, and I need to be able to right click my mouse and access my display properties.

Do any of you have any advice?

I may decide to call the local "GEEKS ON CALL", which will be expensive, but since it's Christmas, it'll probably be another week or two before I can get anyone.

I wish Microsoft had put that operating system on a disc instead of instructing the user to make their own.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but my disc doesn't work.

Anyway, I've given up and shut it down completely.

At this point, I don't have a clue as to what else I can do.

It's frustrating, because I'm sure it's something simple.

If I had an Internet connection, I bet I could fix it right away, using my notebook and my USB memory stick.

I wonder if Microsoft has a phone number?

This HAS to be something simple!

Any suggestions, y'all?

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Breaking News From Scotland

Mo Chairdean agus Mo Cinneadh:

Do you have an interest in Gaidhlig?

Here's a very interesting news article from Scotland:

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"IN SCOTLAND, A REVIVAL OF GAELIC"

By: IONA MACDONALD

Friday 08 December 2006

ISLE OF SKYE, SCOTLAND:

Scotland's first contemporary feature film in Gaelic is in post-production. The BBC has begun broadcasting live sports coverage in Gaelic. A Gaelic-only high school has opened in Glasgow. A leading Scottish politician is seeking, via Brussels, to ensure Gaelic's place as a European language.

Currently spoken by fewer than 2 percent in Scotland, Gaelic is enjoying a revival here that has blossomed since the country held elections in 1999 to create a Scottish Parliament for the first time in almost 300 years.

Last year, the Parliament passed a Gaelic Language Act that recognized Gaelic as an official language of Scotland and granted it equal respect with English.

In August, the Parliament introduced a National Plan for Gaelic under which public bodies are obliged to offer provisions for Gaelic speakers.

Such efforts have not been universally applauded: Many question the benefits of investing in a language that, in their eyes, is ostensibly dead. There has been a rancorous exchange in Scotland's national press, with letter writers and commentators pointing out that more Scots speak Urdu than Gaelic and asking why Gaelic was getting more attention than other indigenous languages like Doric, a dialect of Scots spoken in the northeast.

But ask anyone from the western isles, where 70 percent of the population has some knowledge of Gaelic, and they will tell you that the language is very much alive.

Scottish Gaelic differs in spelling, pronunciation and vocabulary from Irish Gaelic, but the two are mutually intelligible. In Ireland, there are more than 1.5 million speakers, and the language is widely used on the airwaves.

In Scotland, Gaelic's renaissance is perhaps most vibrant in the arts. More than 2,000 competitors a record gathered last month in Dunoon, western Scotland, for the Royal National Mod, a festival of Gaelic language and culture with events like poetry readings and bagpipe contests.

In Portree, Isle of Skye, the film "SEACHD", Gaelic for "Seven", will debut in late March as Scotland's first contemporary Gaelic feature. Produced by Christopher Young, it tells the story of a young boy and his grandfather, who claims to be 800 years old and who tells the lad magical tales. The boy's parents have been killed in a climbing accident on the notorious peak known as the "Innaccessible Pinnacle," also the English name of the film.

Also on Skye, the Gaelic college, Sabhal Mor Ostaig, began work last month, in collaboration with the University of Edinburgh and the BBC, on a project, valued at £3 million, or about $5.9 million, to create an online archive of Gaelic and Scots recordings.

The BBC itself recently announced plans for a "significant" increase in spending on Gaelic broadcasting and a proposal for a Gaelic digital channel. In October, the BBC's Gaelic radio station broadcast the European Championship qualifying game between Scotland and France, the first time in 20 years that soccer fans have been able to hear live commentary in Gaelic on an international match.

A Celtic language that originated in Ireland, Gaelic spread to northwestern Britain no later than the 6th century A.D. and thereafter came to be spoken throughout most of Scotland, according to scholars. But the language was gradually supplanted by English. In 1891 there were more than a quarter million Gaelic speakers in Scotland; the 2001 census put the number at 58,652, just 1.2 percent of the population.

But the number of younger speakers of Gaelic has been increasing, largely due to education in the language.

Katie White, 19, is one such success. She was educated in Gaelic during primary school in Portree, took a number of high school classes in Gaelic, and is now fluent. Neither of her parents is Gaelic speaking, indeed they are not Scots. White wants to pass on the language to her future children and to use it in her work. She sees the media as "a good way to revive the language."

Schools began teaching in Gaelic in Inverness and Glasgow in 1985, and this generated demand. As of last year, there were 61 primary schools across Scotland with classes in Gaelic, and 36 high schools made provision for pupils fluent in Gaelic to continue their studies in the language. This summer, the country's first Gaelic-only high school opened in Glasgow.

Now Gaelic is spreading to more public institutions.

Under the terms of the 2005 language act, the Gaelic Development Agency, or Bord na Gaidhlig, can require public bodies like regional and city councils to formulate language plans for providing more services and resources in Gaelic.

Again, this has proved contentious. News that Edinburgh, a city of 450,000 with 5,000 Gaelic speakers, might have to erect bilingual road signs by 2008 prompted one columnist to suggest that, given the number of doctors and lawyers in the city, it might make as much sense to post the signs in Latin.

However, counters Allan Campbell, chief executive of the agency, the effort "is about facilitation, not coercion."

According to Arthur Cormack, director of the National Association of Gaelic Arts Youth Tuition Festivals, funded in part by the agency, attitudes toward Gaelic have changed enormously in recent years.

In research carried out by the agency and the BBC in 2003, 66 percent of 1,020 people questioned saw Gaelic as an important part of Scottish life that needs to be promoted. Although 87 percent were not Gaelic speakers, nearly 90 percent were in favor of children learning Gaelic in schools.

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Ain't that neat?

Tapadh leibh, slainte mhath, agus gur math a theid leibh!

Is Mise Le Meas,

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

GUESS What I Just Heard?

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

As I was sitting here fooling around with my computer, I was listening to XM Radio Channel 106, the "XM CLASSICAL XMAS" channel on
AOL Radio.

Suddenly, I heard the song, "SUO GAN", also known as, "WELSH LULLABY".

That's a song I sing!!!


It's the theme song for the Hollywood motion picture production, "EMPIRE OF THE SUN", one of the finest war films ever made, and I might add, a tear jerker, especially at the conclusion, which is enhanced by the music.

I was surprised to hear the Trinity Chapel Choir singing different words than those I sing.

But, when I searched the Internet, I found there are indeed differing versions of the song.

I got mine several years ago from the library at
Ricks College (since renamed Brigham Young University - Idaho) in Rexburg, Idaho.

Boy, do I miss Idaho!

I loved every moment I lived there.

Here is the version of "
SUO GAN" which I learned, and which I sing:



******************
"SUO GAN"
(WELSH LULLABY)


VERSE # 1:

Hush, my dear one.
Sleep serenely.
Now, my lovely,
Slumber deep.
Mother rocks you,
Humming lowly.
Close your eyes now.
Go to sleep.
Angels hover
Ever near you,
Looking on your
Smiling face.
I will hold you,
Close enfold you.
Close your eyes now.
Go to sleep.

VERSE # 2:

Lovely darling,
I will guard you,
Keep you from all
Woe and harm.
Softly, gently,
I will rock you,
Resting sweetly
On my arm.
May you slumber
E'er so softly.
Dream of visions
Wondrous fair.
I will hold you,
Close enfold you.
Close your eyes.

Baby, go to sleep.

******************
All these years that I've been singing that song, I had no clue it was a traditional Christmas song, for I'd never heard it sung at Christmas time.

But, one of the versions of "
SUO GAN" that I saw during my Internet search was at a Christmas web site.

Maybe this would be a good song for me to sing at next year's tree lighting ceremony here at the Old Soldiers' Home.

Man, I'm having so much fun!

Neat, huh?

Thank you.


John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Monday, December 11, 2006

Great Internet Christmas Music!!!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

As I'm typing this, I'm listening to some great Christmas music on my computer.

It's Classical Christmas Music on Channel 106 of XM Radio and it's FREE at the
America On Line web site!

Just register and log in at their web site, then scroll down to the "AOL Radio - XM", located on the middle of the page.

Click to listen to their regular Christmas music, and once the radio opens up, go into "RADIO SET UP" and choose the "XM CLASSICAL XMAS" channel.

One of my favorite things about this time of year is lying down in my bunk at night, and in the darkness, watching my Christmas tree as I fall asleep.

Nollaig Cridheil, y'all!

(Pronounced "Nowl-yeek Kree-yell", it means "Christmas Hearty!" in Scottish Gaelic.)

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Friday, December 08, 2006

A Couple of Jokes

***** WARNING!!! *****

This dangerously illegal and immoral subversive underground resistance message is being surreptitiously monitored by the Beaming Internet Government Broadband Radio Oscillation Telecommunications Hearing Electronic Reconnaissance (i.e., B.I.G. B.R.O.T.H.E.R.) as part of a coordinated official clandestine domestic surveillance investigation, in cooperation with the National Administration of Zealous Interrogation (i.e., N.A.Z.I.) and the Commission On Message Monitoring Investigative Electronics (i.e., C.O.M.M.I.E.).

Serious felony criminal charges are pending, with extreme penalties yet to be determined!

********************

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Here's something I saw on the Internet in the YAHOO! Answers section:

*******************

"If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?"

*******************

And if I can remember this correctly, here's a real groaner I saw in the latest issue of the "VFW" magazine:

*******************

A man went to the dentist to have his new denture plate examined.

The dentist was shocked by the rapid deterioration in the denture plate, which was very badly corroded.

He asked,

"How did your new denture plate get so badly damaged so soon?"

The man replied,

"My wife served some chicken with Hollandaise sauce for dinner.

"It was so delicious, I started putting Hollandaise sauce on everything, eating it morning, noon, and night."

The dentist thought a moment, and then replied,

"Well, that probably explains it, because Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon and has a high acid content."

He continued,

"I'll make you a new plate to replace the corroded one, and just to make sure it doesn't happen again, this time, I'll coat the plate with chrome."

"Why is it so important to cover the plate with chrome?" asked the man.

"Haven't you heard?" replied the dentist.

"There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

*******************
Golly, gee whillikers, I remembered it and got it wrote down!

How do you like them there apples, hey?

Yuk! Yuk! and Hardy Har Har ! ! !

Thank you.


War Crimes INMATE # 6-4305
United States Military Asylum
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

Signal Corps Request

Comrades-in-Arms:

Here is an e-mail I received from one of our fellow Signal Corps veterans.

*************************
The following is an excerpt of an article I'm writing. First, I'd like each and every one of you to think about this and get back to me with what you know or do not know - either in corroboration or denial of the following. And in as many statistics - i.e., deaths by whatever causes - you personally are aware of, over the years, of the people of the Fixed Communications Stations personnel of all MOSs.
But what were the effects of that high power radiation on the people who worked in the Transmitting Stations?
I have kept in touch, over the years, with many of them, especially with the advent of the Internet. We just lost another one about two months ago. Yep, to cancer. I’m 70 years old. The majority of the people with whom I worked over the years are in the age range of 60 to 80+. And the majority of those in the Transmitter field who have passed on died of cancer of one type or another.
Does anyone attribute this to long-term debilitation due to exposure over many years to the effects of high power RF radiation? Probably not, I’m likely the only one keeping track of this. But I can and do say with certainty that the majority of the Transmitter people who have died have died of cancer of one form or another; and that more of the Transmitter people, as a percentage of the whole, have died than have the people who worked in the other Communications sections.

All input is solicited, pro and con. What I'm interested in is MOS, Age, Date and cause of death, as far as is known.

Please pass this along to all the old crews you are still in touch with, also, and ask them to reply to me directly.

Thanks, Loring "Windy" Windblad


windy@uniserve.com

*************************

He is NOT alone, for I have heard this subject discussed on the late night talk radio program, "COAST TO COAST AM".

Please consider sharing this information with other veterans of the United States Army Signal Corps.

Likewise, the problem likely exists among signal veterans from the other services.

We might also wish to notify local amateur radio clubs and veterans organizations.

I'm posting this at my personal blog, "OUR ETERNAL STRUGGLE", and also at Internet discussion groups I participate in.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

SOLDIERS' HOME REPORT

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Tonight (or last night - - - it's after Midnight now), we had our annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony in the theatre here at the Old Soldiers' Home.

The guest band was a jazz combo from the United States Air Force, and of course, the Soldiers' Home also furnished its own choir, with me performing two (02) solo numbers, "CHRISTMAS EVE IN WASHINGTON" and "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU" (the Vince Vance version, NOT the Mariah Carey one).

A couple of things stood out.

As the Air Force band played each of the Service's songs, residents would stand proudly while their Branch's song was being played.

Historically, this is the Soldiers' Home, although the name has now been officially changed to Armed Forces Retirement Home.

But, very few guys stood up for the Army's song.

Only a few old Marines stood when their song was played, and two (02) guys stood for the Coast Guard song.

But, when the Navy song was played, a whole bunch of guys stood up, probably the majority of the audience.

Similarly, when the Air Force song was played, quite a few guys came to attention.

So the Soldiers' Home evidently has more sailors than soldiers.

Of course, there's a lot of guys who can't stand up at all, or who didn't come to the tree lighting ceremony.

But, it does make me wonder?

There was an opening prayer by a chaplain, followed by a speech from the director, Captain Ben Laub, United States Navy.

In his speech, Ben Laub was extremely politically correct, to the point of being ridiculous.

He talked about this time of year being special because of Kwanzaa and Hannukah, and how Christmas "ORIGINATED IN EUROPE WITH THE YULE LOG"!!!

Did I hear him correctly?

There was no mention of Jesus Christ at all, not in Captain Laub's speech.

But, the Soldiers' Home's choir did sing traditional Christmas carols, "JOY TO THE WORLD", "HARK! THE HERALD ANGELS SING", and "THE FIRST NOEL".

Still, last week, during rehearsal, we were told that some residents refused to participate in the choir because they didn't like the songs being "so religious".

Can you believe it?

I was pleasantly surprised at all the unexpected compliments I received after performing my songs.

Usually, after performing, I get away as fast as possible, and seldom hear from anyone until the following day.

Being a lonely guy, I particularly enjoyed the compliment from an attractive blonde, although I have no idea who she was.

Some folks thought I wrote the songs, because I do compose songs, both words and music.

But, I explained that these were someone else's songs, which I learned by listening to the radio.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Make Big Bucks Smuggling Twinkies!!!

***** WARNING!!! *****

This dangerously illegal and immoral subversive underground resistance message is being surreptitiously monitored by the Beaming Internet Government Broadband Radio Oscillation Telecommunications Hearing Electronic Reconnaissance (i.e., B.I.G. B.R.O.T.H.E.R.) as part of a coordinated official clandestine domestic surveillance investigation, in cooperation with the National Administration of Zealous Interrogation (i.e., N.A.Z.I.) and the Commission On Message Monitoring Investigative Electronics (i.e., C.O.M.M.I.E.).

Serious felony criminal charges are pending, with extreme penalties yet to be determined!

********************

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

I was flipping through the channels earlier tonight when I saw a news item from New York City.

The City Council (or some such outfit) in New York City voted unanimously to ban all foods containing transfat within the next two (02) years.

In other words, New York City will become the first city in the country to outlaw cheeseburgers, pizza, ice cream cones, polish sausages, and Twinkies.

Do you see the wonderful opportunity here?

I'm going to become a millionaire - - - smuggling truckloads of illegal Twinkies into New York City!!!

Oh boy, I get to become a real outlaw, with a fake name and everything, just like the guys on television!

This is just so cool!

By the way, even though I saw the report on television (it was the Washington, D.C. Fox News channel's local broadcast), I have NOT yet seen it posted on the Internet.

So, either this story is still breaking, or else, it just ain't important.

Well, so what?

I see a chance to make some big bucks over the next couple of years.

Can't you just see it - - - a REAL Saint Valentine's Day massacre between rival gangs over truckloads of smuggled chocolates?

Thank you.

War Crimes INMATE # 6-4305
United States Military Asylum
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

Monday, December 04, 2006

Christmas Reminder

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

My Christmas tree is up, I'm listening to Christmas music on my computer's Windows Media Player, I've switched my desktop wallpaper from the Confederate Battle Flag to a Nativity scene, and changed my desktop screensaver from a military slide show to a Christmas slide show.

With the United States of America now involved in a global war, much of which must remain secret, and which probably will not end during our lifetimes, we all have to exercise due caution, and our United States Air Force is especially alert to any intrusion over America's skies.
Therefore, the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) will be tracking Santa's sleigh, and Santa will be escorted by F-16 fighters.
You and your wee ones can observe this on your computer monitor.
They also furnish technical details about Santa's sleigh, reindeer power, weight of toys, consumption of cookies, et cetera, et cetera.
If you desire, you may share this information with others.
NOLLAIG CRIDHEIL, y'all ! ! !
(Pronounced, "Nol-yeek Kree-yell", that means, "Christmas Hearty!" in Scottish Gaelic.)
Thank you.
NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."