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Saturday, December 03, 2016

HOME ! ! !


Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

This is just a brief note to let everybody know that I'm now home from the hospital, where they fused L-4 and L-5 of my lumbar spine.

The surgery was a piece of cake, absolutely great!

The rehabilitation was pure hell!

I'm still in a lot of pain.

I've been given a supply of medicine, but because they are powerful narcotics, I'm afraid of taking them.

I'm not supposed to Bend, Lift, or Twist, something nearly impossible when living alone.

Because of the initials, "B L T", I like to joke that I can't eat Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato sandwiches!

This morning, I fell down on the floor three (03) times while trying to answer my telephone.

Can you BELIEVE that it was just some foreigner trying to sell me some pornography?

I'm astounded to learn the good news that while I was in the hospital, the Department of Veterans Affairs has increased my Service Connection rating to SEVENTY PER CENT (70%)!

The folks who helped me with that are REP FOR VETS, who also helped my brother, who then recommended them to me.


You'll find REP FOR VETS on the Internet at:

With part of that money, I plan to buy a nice suit and tie to wear to church services, plus I'll get my Scottish kilt altered so that it'll fit properly.

(The collapsing of my spinal column resulted in my kilt becoming far too long below my knees.)

Won't that be neat?

I'm guessing I'm even going to have a Christmas tree and a Nativity creche this year, maybe even with a little ("N" scale?) electric train set, and a flickering fireplace video on my television set!

The Department of Veterans Affairs is issuing me a Powered Mobility Scooter, plus installing a lift on my pickup truck to carry it with me.

They want me to drive to Salt Lake City (i.e., a three and a half hour drive through the high deserts, canyons, and snow capped mountains of the Old West outlaw country) to have the lift installed, but it's too dangerous for me to drive anywhere right now.

Maybe they'll come here to install it?

I'm hoping the Department of Veterans Affairs will also install running boards on the cab of my pickup truck, because it's so difficult for me to climb in and out of the driver's seat.

At least, I got back from the hospital in time to be able to vote, and I'm definitely grateful for that.

I hope life is as good for you as it is for me!

If my e-mails are not too awfully aggravating and impolite, you're very welcome to keep in touch.

After all, I'm just a lonely old guy who sadly observes more and more of my kith and kin passing away.

But, at least I had the honor of serving in the United States Army, making my own tiny little insignificant contribution to a moment of American history back during those dark days when everybody else was doing anything they could to avoid military service.

So, I feel I might be justifiably proud of doing that.

Isn't it ironic that TODAY, there are so many imposters pretending to be veterans of a war they refused to serve in when their Country so desperately needed them?

Thank you.

John Robert MallerneeEsquire 
Ashley Valley Shadows 
VernalUtah  84078


                                                                   Ann Barnhardt


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