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Monday, August 06, 2007

Mitt Romney, Et Cetera

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

I've been sitting here watching the news on television, and I wanted to comment on a couple of things.

First of all, on the news, they were talking about Mitt Romney running for President, and they showed a clip where he got upset and acted defensive because someone was questioning his Mormon faith.

Well, I didn't like that!

Why should he be defensive and decline to discuss his Mormon faith?

Why would Mitt Romney publicly say, "I'm not running as a Mormon"?

As someone who is a convert (i.e., a true believer) in the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints (i.e, the "Mormon" church), I think Mitt Romney certainly SHOULD run as a Mormon.

After all, it is a basic part of our faith that the Constitution of The United States is a sacred document inspired by God, and that the United States of America is the "Promised Land", blessed by God above all other nations on the Earth.

How much more loyal and patriotic can you get?

But, Mitt Romney wants to waffle and apologize and make excuses.

As a young man, he did serve a full time mission for the Church, but did he ever wear the uniform of the United States military?

Was he ever in harm's way?

Did he ever risk his life for this nation - - - or anything else of lasting value?

Well, it is true that none of the other presidential candidates (so far as I know) ever donned a military uniform or dodged enemy bullets.

But, that raises another question.

Why can't we get political candidates who've "been there, done that"?

Why are the candidates ALWAYS these wealthy, intellectual, elitist snobs, whose lives are insulated and over protected?

All I'm trying to say is, if the guy is a Mormon, then he should stand by his faith, and not be apologetic.

What's he afraid of?

Of course, the fact that Mitt Romney was elected governor of an anti-American totalitarian communist state, Massachusetts, certainly doesn't recommend him.

I wonder if he knows what's in the Constitution of the United States?

He's indicated regret that he has ancestors who were polygamists, and he's expressed regret that there was a time when black men could not be ordained to the Priesthood.

Does he apologize for being white?

Is he a Mormon in name only?

Another item in the news that got my attention was the massive loss of firearms and body armor given to the Iraqi government by our Armed Forces.

Pundits are asking if those missing weapons are now being used by enemy forces to kill American soldiers?

I wonder why the United States government didn't donate those rifles, pistols, and body armor to its own citizens - - - us?

We really need that stuff - - - especially here in the District of Columbia!!!

Just imagine what life would be like if every law abiding citizen was properly armed and equipped?

Boy, oh boy, it would sure cut down on the opportunities for violent crime or attacks by foreign terrorists.

If, in addition, our government would issue a Declaration of War against Mexico, with an accompanying roundup of illegal immigrants, we could stop a lot of our problems almost immediately.

Do you realize today was a silent unobserved national holiday?

There were no parades, no parties, no picnics, no celebrations or observances of any kind.

Why not?

Are we ashamed and embarrassed to be the first and only nation in the entire world who has successfully waged nuclear war against a foreign power?

Yes, today, 06 August, was the anniversary of the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima, Japan in 1945.

We should be proud of that.

We saved a lot of lives, and shortened the war.

As I sat here watching television, I ate my supper, with a can of fruit cocktail for dessert.

The fruit cocktail was delicious, but the lead alloy content in the can and in the spoon has affected my brain.

Now, I have become a neurotic sociopathic psychotic cereal killer.

I plan to kidnap some oatmeal, drown it in water, and boil it alive.

Then, despite the oatmeal's screams of agony and tearful pleas for mercy, I'll begin slowly biting and chewing it, piece by piece.

Eventually, there will be no oatmeal.

I plan to do the same thing to cream of wheat.

The police can't stop me.

I'm much too smart for them.

I know where the cereal is, and it cannot escape.

Anyway, I'm not really me.

I'm actually somebody else, and I'm only pretending to be me.

That other guy, he's the guilty party.

It's all his fault.

I'm completely innocent.

Of course, I'm also not really me.

So, how do you know who is guilty of murdering all the cereal?

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

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