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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

EMBARRASSING BAD HABITS

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Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

A guy just now knocked on my door and handed me a Christmas gift.

He said he could hear me groaning as I approached the door.

It's one of my bad habits stemming from years of loneliness. 

Since I'm always by myself, it doesn't matter if I holler when I'm in pain, because there's nobody to hear me. 

For much the same reason, because I'm always alone, it's perfectly all right if I constantly talk to myself, because there's no one around to hear. 

A couple of months ago, when I was hospitalized for severe blood poisoning, the staff was alarmed that I was hollering as they transferred me from the gurney to the bed.

But, there was no problem with what they were doing.

It's just that I was completely unaware that I was making all that noise.

I discovered several months ago that my cell phone's Blue Tooth headset has an unexpected advantage.

I was walking around inside the grocery store wearing the Blue Tooth, but had forgotten and left my cell phone in my truck.

So, there I was, constantly talking to myself.

But, it didn't matter, because with the Blue Tooth visible on my head, everyone thought I was engaged in a telephone conversation!

Anyway, if any of you all see me audibly moaning and groaning as I move around, don't be concerned.

It's just a careless habit acquired through years of living alone, with no reason to try and be silent.

Have you ever seen the Hollywood movies or read stories about the mountain men? 

That's sort of how they were.

When they finally got a chance to be around other human beings, they'd go wild, really let their hair down, unwind, and talk nonstop for days and days, around the clock. 

So, don't worry about me. 

I'm perfectly all right, and what I'm doing is perfectly normal - - - ,

That is, until they come and take me away, huh? 

Thank you.

1800 Beach Drive, Unit 311 

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