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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Movie Critique: "AUSTRALIA"

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

On Christmas Eve, I went with my brother-in-law to see AUSTRALIA at the mall theatre.

I very much looked forward to seeing this film, as I hold fond memories of my visit to Sydney and Darwin when I was an American soldier on R&R from the war in Viet Nam.

I hoped the movie would be a sort of Australian version of my favorite American epics, HOW THE WEST WAS WON, or , GONE WITH THE WIND.

Debbie Schlussel reviewed this movie at her web site, and warned that it would be disappointing.

But, I'm a guy, and being a guy, I want to see Nicole Kidman.

Did you know Nicole Kidman and I are relatives?

It's true.

We both have blue eyes, and using DNA research, Danish scientists have discovered that all blue-eyed people have a common ancestor.

Anyway, the movie was indeed a disappointing let-down.

Some of the scenes and dialogue appeared to have been directly copied from another Hollywood epic, QUIGLEY DOWN UNDER, which was a far better movie.

AUSTRALIA could have been a great movie, one of the best ever made.

But, it had to try and revise historical facts to suit contemporary fashion.

It's all about the evil White man and the innocent noble Aboriginal.

There's nudity and sex in the movie, which are completely unnecessary, and unbelievable.

Would you hop in the sack with someone you barely knew, but who boasted of interracial promiscuity?

Hello?

Can we say, "syphilis", or "gonorrhea"?

Our indoctrinated contemporary youth (including the writers, producers, and directors of this film) may not realize it, but previous generations actually had moral standards and religious faith, and they wouldn't have done such things.

It was interesting that they worked the classic movie, THE WIZARD OF OZ, into the story, as "Oz" is one of the nicknames for Australia.

It was also very unrealistic to believe that a White couple could, at that time and in that place, openly adopt an Aborigine child in defiance of law and custom.

Have you noticed how, nowadays, no famous White movie star ever wants to adopt any White children?

Now, as for the evil White man, where's the gratitude for all the good that the White man brought to America, Australia, Africa, and India?

Would the aboriginal peoples in those continents prefer to return to the savage terrors of their uncivilized and uneducated ancestors (like much of Africa and India still are)?

It is the White man who brought the concepts of individual liberty to the rest of the World, along with literacy, science, technology, and medicine.

Yes, bad things had to be done in order to eventually accomplish a greater good, but that's the way of our World, and the nature of mankind.

I read the news, and in Australia, they've got real racial problems due to Arabs kidnapping and gang raping White girls.

Thanks to Australia's recent gun control laws penalizing and disarming Australian citizens, the rate of violent home invasion robberies has skyrocketed.

As for the innocent noble Aborigines, the Australian government has been forced to send in their police and soldiers to seize entire Aborigine towns.

Why?

Because incest is so common among Aborigine fathers and daughters!

So, I'm not about to apologize for anything my ancestors did, and yes, some fought Indians, and some owned slaves.

It's possible there's even a Ku Klux Klansman in my family.

So what?

I don't want to hear any more of this trendy "politically correct" nonsense about how bad White people are and how good Black people are.

I live in a very violent and trashy Black populated city, and I see it quite differently.

Anyway, I do NOT recommend this movie.

It's definitely NOT suitable for children.

It's not suitable for adults, either.

Pass the popcorn, please.

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

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