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Sunday, July 01, 2012



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Saturday 30 June 2012

(Edited by John Robert Mallernee) 

A group of about one hundred and fifty (150) self-professed members of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints quit their church in a mass resignation ceremony in Salt Lake City, Utah on Saturday in a rare display of defiance ending decades of disagreement for some over issues ranging from polygamy to gay marriage.

Participants from Utah, Arizona, Idaho, and elsewhere gathered in a public park to sign a "DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE FROM MORMONISM".

(Although I thoroughly searched the Internet, I was unable to locate a copy of the text of that so-called, "DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE FROM MORMONISM".

The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints, headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah, is known for its culture of obedience, and the mass ceremony was a seldom-seen act of collective revolt.

After gathering in the park, participants hiked a half-mile up nearby Ensign Peak, scaled in 1847 by Church president, Brigham Young, to survey the spot where the Mormon pioneers would build a city.

At the top, those who were gathered gave three loud shouts of, "FREE - DOM!", cheered, clapped, and hugged.

Asked about the resignations, a Church spokesman said the Church loves and respects each member.

"People make their own decisions about the direction they will follow in life", the spokesman, Michael Purdy, said in an e-mail. 

"While there are very few who take this action, it is sad to see someone choose to leave. 

We wish them well."

The most recent figures show The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints claims fourteen and two-fifths (14.4) million members worldwide.

The number of those resigning from the Church are not publicly reported.

According to the 2010 version of the "CHURCH HANDBOOK OF INSTRUCTION" posted on the Internet, those wishing to resign their membership must submit a letter requesting that their name be removed from church rolls.

The handbook requires bishops, the lay leaders assigned to supervise congregations, to verify that the requester understand the consequences, specifically that resignation cancels "the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member, and revokes temple blessings".

As a member of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints, I was a wee bit amused when I saw the Reuters news report of, "MORMONS QUIT CHURCH IN MASS RESIGNATION CEREMONY", not because I would rejoice at seeing fellow Latter-day Saints choose to reject their blessings and covenants, but when I saw the wording of that news report from the Reuters news agency, my inherently wicked sense of humor just could NOT ignore this golden opportunity for a moaning, groaning, very deadly, albeit rather juvenile attempt at a terrible pun!

Soooo - - - ,

Here we go!

I'm flattered that anyone would put my name on their rolls, although I sort of wonder why?

After all, it ain't my birthday, yet, not for several months.

Besides, why would The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints put my name on rolls, rather than on top of a cake or a very large ice cream cookie?

Hmmmm - - - , what kind of rolls are they?

I sure hope they ain't CINNAMON rolls!

I don't like cinnamon, because cinnamon burns my stomach.

I wish they'd send ME some rolls.

After all, if MY name is on those rolls, then why shouldn't I be able to enjoy a few of them?

Can they e-mail me a gallon or two of cold milk with those rolls?

Mmmmm, boy, but that'd be plumb larrupin'!

I wonder what kind of icing they used?

Were there any pictures to go along with my name?

So, when am I going to get my share of those rolls, huh?

Yuk! Yuk!

Hardee har har!


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