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Monday, January 23, 2006


***** WARNING!!! *****

This dangerously illegal and immoral subversive underground resistance message is being surreptitiously monitored by the Beaming Internet Government Broadband Radio Oscillation Telecommunications Hearing Electronic Reconnaissance (i.e., B.I.G. B.R.O.T.H.E.R.) as part of a coordinated official clandestine domestic surveillance investigation, in cooperation with the National Administration of Zealous Interrogation (i.e., N.A.Z.I.) and the Commission On Message Monitoring Investigative Electronics (i.e., C.O.M.M.I.E.).

Serious felony criminal charges are pending, with extreme penalties yet to be determined!


To My Latter-day Saint Brothers and Sisters: 
(or anyone else who's interested!)

After all these years in mortality, I have come to the conclusion that the more I learn, the less I really know.

But, there is something wonderful I must share with you.

I've been up all night long, listening to the "COAST TO COAST AM" talk radio program, and last night's show was VERY significant, especially for my fellow members of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints (i.e., the so-called "Mormon" church).

First of all, it was the first broadcast for Art Bell, since his wife, Ramona, suddenly passed away from asthma a couple of weeks ago.

He spoke of the difficult time he was having, coping with the loneliness, and at one point during the program, he heard an intruder alarm going off in his home.

So, he cut to commercial to see what was causing the alarm, and it was sheriff's deputies checking to see if he was okay, for a man in Oregon, listening to Art Bell's radio program, was so worried about Art's candid description of his utter lonely depression, that he assumed the worst and notified authorities in Parumph, Nevada!

Afterwards, Art introduced his guest, Dr. Michio Kaku, a professor of physics and prolific author, who was one of the creators of string theory, which is an explanation of how everything in the universe was created, and how everything works.

The professor's books are required reading in university physics classes.

I had heard of string theory, but was not familiar with the details, so I was truly interested in this program.

He said a few things that really caught my ear.

First of all, as he was explaining his theory of parallel universes and the origins of our universe, it suddenly struck me that he was describing the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the professor didn't even know it!

Isn't that the ultimate cool?

Our peculiar faith has been given credence by a renowned scientist who is blissfully unaware.

Do you converts and missionaries remember the fifth discussion in a series of six?

In the years since I was taught the restored gospel, the format and method may have changed, but there used to be six discussions that the missionaries would present to the investigator, and the fifth discussion was all about string theory, which we Latter-day Saints call the Plan of Salvation, or the Plan of Happiness.

Just count the parallel states that we know about just within our world right at this very moment.

There's the intelligences, the pre-existence, mortality, paradise, and spirit prison, and yet another entity will appear when our Earth is eventually celestialized.

And that's just for THIS world right now!

According to the scriptures, there are innumerable worlds and various categories of existence, indicating multitudes of parallel universes, stuff we can only guess at and dream of.

Art Bell and the professor also discussed the possibilities of travel through space and time, and speculated that the birth of nuclear warfare in 1945 may have caused a disturbance in the rhythm of the universe, enabling our contemporary observation of unexplained phenomena and strange creatures from other worlds, both good and evil.

He stated that the language of the universe is music, because everything in the universe has a precise mathematical tempo, and being a singer/songwriter, I thought that was really neat, for now I know that when I compose a song, I'm innocently resorting to the eternal language of the gods!

I do enjoy listening to classical symphony music (I'm listening to it as I type this), and it truly does make one's imagination wander through the cosmos.

Indeed, when star-gazing in the darkness of the deserted parking lot at the destroyed Teton Dam in Idaho with my backyard telescope, I had classical music from the local LDS college playing on my car radio.

Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley have proved that listening to classical music while studying or engaged in creative writing (such as composing this message) stimulates the brain and enhances the ability to better express ideas.

It is called "the Mozart effect", for of all the classical composers, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's music brings out the best results in college students.

Farmers have found that dairy cows are more productive when relaxed with background music.

Science has proved that the favorite music of dairy cows is Andy Williams singing, "MOON RIVER"!

And of course, there's the sacredness found within the holy temple, which will not be discussed in this message.

We see this language of the gods in other religions, with the Tibetan prayer wheels, the Bhuddist chanting, the singsong prayers and scripture reading by Muslims and Jews, and even in the observant Jew's rocking back and forth when praying at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.

American Indians, when singing and dancing, are imploring the Great Spirit for divine assistance.

Even our sacred scriptures tell us that, "the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me", as we sing our hymns in church or at home.

Who of us has not felt our militant blood stirred by Scottish bagpipes, which have been officially designated a weapon of war?

Our United States cavalry (whom I served with, as a scout) still charges into battle, inspired by bugle calls and the traditional Irish drinking song, "Garryowen".

The plucked strings of the Celtic harp are soothing and peaceful, although strangely, it has also been considered a weapon of war, not because of its sound, but due to propaganda created by bards to inspire heroism in battle.

According to ancient legend, the Celtic harp was allegedly introduced into Ireland by the Biblical prophet, Jeremiah, and King David's harp remains the official national emblem of Ireland to this very day.

Country and Western ballads evoke loneliness, tragedy, love, and old time religion.

Rock 'n' Roll is a happy sound, originally inspired by sex (that's where the descriptive name comes from), but today, is more indicative of nostalgia and "party hearty" time, with listeners moved to joyous dancing.

The professor spoke of how envious the rest of the world is of Americans, and predicts a bright economic future for the United States of America, because our society, more than any other on Earth, encourages individual creativity and artistic expression.

For instance, even though it might appear that Asian youth are diligently studious and American youth frequently act stupid, it was wacky oddball American geniuses who created the home computer and the Internet.

He compared the differences in attitudes towards individualism between traditional China, where "the bent nail gets hammered", and in America, where "the squeaky wheel gets the grease."

Indications of mankind's intellectual progress towards eventually attracting interplanetary communication from other worlds are the universal recognition of English as the elite language on our planet, and the establishment of the computer Internet, enabling instantaneous global communication.

The professor says our universe is destined to someday die, cold and lonely, as the celestial lights go out, his conclusion being somewhat inspired by a Nordic legend, the gotterdammerung, or "twilight of the gods".

But he thinks that by that time, mankind will create a huge machine, many times larger than Earth, using robot technology, which will enable our human DNA and memories to be transplanted to another universe, thereby continuing life, and making life eternal.

He said that explains why our life has no beginning and no end, for it has always existed and always will.

Surprisingly, the professor thinks the efforts of the SETI organization (i.e., Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) are in vain, for they don't have sufficient financial resources to do their research properly, and it will be a miracle if SETI does succeed in obtaining an intelligent signal from somewhere in Deep Space.

In case you are unacquainted with the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence, they welcome volunteers who can use their home computers to help process the data which has been collected, and if signals from intelligent life from other worlds is detected by your computer, you will be given credit for the discovery.

Most home computers have sufficient memory that volunteers can constantly run the SETI program without interfering with any other computer program.

Man, oh man, all this stuff is just so neat!

Ain't it great being LDS?

Ain't it great being on the Earth at this time?

Boy, are we blessed!

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

"My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."


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