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Friday, April 21, 2006

Personal Opinion On Gas Prices

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

In watching the news on television, I notice the reporters tell only part of the story when speaking about the increase in gasoline prices.

Of course, for a long time now, getting the truth from watching television news or reading a newspaper has become an art form, where you have to guess at what is not being said, and why a particular news report is being presented in a particular manner (i.e., "spin control").

Everybody keeps stressing the increasing cost of crude oil.

But there's more to it than that, and folks, I'm not even an expert.

I'm just your ordinary everyday run-of-the-mill Joe Doakes, watching the boob tube and ranting about the rather blatantly obvious lies.

What kind of idiots do they think we are, that we can't easily see through all their smoke and mirrors?

The reason for the high cost of gasoline is due to two things, maybe more.

One, petroleum is used to manufacture plastic.

So, it isn't just gasoline and motor vehicles creating the high demand for petroleum, but virtually every product we use in contemporary society.

The other reason for the high price of gasoline is taxation and government interference.

Take away the taxes, and gasoline would be really cheap.

Now, we have another complication in this scenario.

China, whose economy will soon be the largest in the World, leaving America running a poor second.

China will have far more motor vehicles than America will, and they'll use most of the World's fuel supply.

It probably will lead to America preemptively launching an all-out global thermonuclear war, just for our survival.

Another factor in the increasing cost and scarcity of gasoline are the large pickup trucks and large sports utility vehicles.

Frankly, I'm very suspicious of our federal government.

Have you noticed how all the new vehicles are getting smaller?

This is fine for females, but it is painful for a big guy like me, because it hurts to try and squeeze into one of those tiny cramped vehicles.

Is it part of a government conspiracy?

Well, those little cars that women like will stay on the highway and go through police checkpoints.

But, guys like me, driving around in large comfortable all-wheel drive trucks, with two-way radios, semi-automatic weapons, and camping gear can drive OFF the highway and we can DODGE the police roadblocks.

With our guns and radios and off road capability, we have the ability to wage revolution and overthrow our government.

I think that may be the REAL reason why gasoline prices are increasing and new cars are getting smaller and smaller.

Before I sign off and go to chow, I want to throw something else at you, of an entirely different subject.

Yesterday, when that female Chinese reporter was arrested at the White House for heckling President Hu, she was charged with "intimidating a foreign official".

Huh?

That's not supposed to be a crime in this country!

We are supposed to have the freedom to harass, threaten, and intimidate anybody we want to, especially government officials, including foreign visitors.

That's how our system works.

This is the United States of America, and nobody should be immune from heckling and name calling.

Well, it's time for chow, so I'm out of here.

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

"My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

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