Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: ***************** I definitely disagree with his opinion that marijuana should be legal! John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Six Free Movies
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Self Defense Techniques For Seniors
Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: Be sure to click on each of the above photographs, in order to view the larger version. By Matt Sedensky, Associated Press Writer ZEPHYR HILLS, Florida Pay no mind to the groans that come with stretching, to hair that is gray or gone altogether. Ignore the cautiousness of their steps and the canes in their hands. Punching bags and torso targets line the room, but they'll need none of these. Their weapons are their canes. He has traveled from Lake Tahoe, Nevada, to teach this group of sixteen how to protect themselves from attackers. Now, it's being offered at dojos, and increasingly, in senior centers and retirement communities. "It's a piece of hard wood. It hurts." They combine long rubber tension bands with their canes to do bicep curls, leg presses and chest rows, exercises aimed at keeping the seniors fit. His hazel eyes look severe as he points to the cane and delivers his message. With another instructor, Merle McAlpin, playing the bad guy, Shuey hooks the cane around his neck and thrusts it. The result is a guttural groan of pain from McAlpin. When it's time for the students to try a bit later, Shuey shouts: "Be gentle!" The cane can simply be swung in circles, used to grab a foot or neck, and fashioned into a bat or poker. Advanced techniques even show a senior how to use a cane to ward off someone with a gun or knife. Perhaps more importantly, though, it gives them confidence that can help them escape a dangerous situation. "But after taking this class, you realize you could do so much more with it." In ancient Rome and Egypt, canes were used as weapons. In the Thirteenth Century, swinging a cane before a member of royalty would assure your beheading. In the Seventeenth Century, canes required a permit. You don't want to take a cane to a gunfight, so the cane became a crutch and it's been visualized as that for the last couple hundred years," Shuey said. "Today when you carry a cane, they think you're a gimp." Once, in London, he said he simply pushed his cane into the chest of the aggressive man approaching him. Another time, in New York, he hit his potential mugger, who then hobbled away. For others who are less agile, some question whether some aspects of Cane-Fu might be too complex. Shuey included using the cane's crook in his class. He started developing a program solely based on the moves in Nineteen Ninety-Five and came out with his first instructional tapes in Nineteen Ninety-Nine. Perhaps the greatest benefit of cane self-defense, he says, is that a cane can be brought anywhere, including airports, without raising an eyebrow. "Nobody thinks of a cane as being any kind of an impressive weapon but even a person like me - I'm disabled, like I said, I don't move real well - and even me, I could do this." ****************** ****************** Of course, our BEST defense would obviously be to have the immoral and unconstitutional laws in Washington, D.C. changed, in order to enable honest citizens to exercise our inalienable right to wear fully loaded firearms. Thank you. John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Dreams Within Dreams?
Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: Have you ever been fast asleep, and dreaming that you were asleep and dreaming? I've been asleep all day long, and just woke up a little while ago. Once again, while I was asleep, I dreamed I went to sleep and was dreaming. In other words, it was a dream within a dream. Have you ever had that experience? It's kind of wierd, for even after waking up completely, the separation between reality and the imagination can sometimes appear somewhat blurry, as my scrambled brain attempts to sort everything out. But, one of the best songs I ever composed was given to me when I was asleep and dreaming that I was asleep and dreaming. That's why I named that song, "FROM A DREAM". The reason I say the song was "given to me" is because I'm just not smart enough to be able to compose music and lyrics that are that good. So, I suspect I'm being inspired by the spirit of an unknown deceased songwriter who wants his material to live on. Do you think there could be anything to that theory? Are there other creative people who think they're being inspired by the spirit of someone who's deceased? Anyway, I'm feeling a little bit dizzy, so maybe I'll go back to bed. I wish I could sleep through the night, so I could stay awake during the day. Lately, I've been staying up all night long, and sleeping throughout the daylight, and thus, haven't been able to accomplish much. So, if I can stay asleep for the rest of the night, maybe I can break that cycle, and be able to start practicing my music, along with all the other projects I need to work on that I've been neglecting. Thank you. John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
Monday, March 23, 2009
Preventing Home Invasion
Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: The effect of firing a twelve gauge shotgun within the confines of a darkened room is very similar to setting off a bomb, or exploding a grenade. If attacked, wield the stick like a two-handed spear, and aim for your opponent's throat. John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
Friday, March 20, 2009
EXTREME SHEEP HERDING ! ! !
This video, a television commercial for Samsung LEDs, was put together by a group of Welsh sheep herders.
It was sent to me by Russell Henderson, the editor of the Clan Henderson newsletter, "AN CANACH".
Thursday, March 19, 2009
National Tartan Day
Mo Cinneadh agus Mo Cairdean: Saor Alba gu brath! I just now checked at the Saint Andrew's Society web site, and there definitely WILL be a National Tartan Day observance this year. It will be in Market Square, at 301 King Street, in Old Town Alexandria, Virginia, on Saturday 04 April 2009, from 1300 Hours until 1700 Hours. I reckon I'll be seeing you all there! Look for my white pickup truck, with the Saltire flying above the cab, and the "CLAN HENDERSON" magnetic signs on the doors. I'll probably park it down by the river, for the truck is too big to fit inside the Market Square parking lot. I wonder if it'll be as bitterly cold and windy as the last time we did it? That was a couple or three years ago, and it was the first time I'd ever worn my kilt. Amid all those gusts, we (Mike Henderson, Leon Hicks, and myself) had to really struggle to keep the Clan Henderson tent from being completely toppled over and torn to pieces. I never could play my guitar, because it was too cold, and cold temperatures make the strings go out of tune. But, still, I think we all had a really great time. I remember that one fellow who gave us some fresh home baked shortbread. Mmmmm, boy! Well, we'll see what happens this year. I'll be there in traditional full Highland military regalia, and take my guitar, just in case. It might be warm and sunny. Now that Saint Patrick's Day is over and done with, and I had such a good time singing all those Irish songs, I reckon I'd better get busy and practice my Scottish songs, huh? After all, right after we celebrate National Tartan Day, we'll be looking forward to the annual Celtic Festival of Southern Maryland on Saturday 25 April 2009, from 1000 Hours until 1800 Hours at Jefferson Patterson State Park, near the town of Prince Frederick, in Calvert County. Slainte mhath! Is Mise Le Meas, John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY ! ! !
"Erin Go Bragh!" a "Alba Gu Brath!"
Translation:
"Ireland Forever!" in Irish Gaelic
"Scotland Forever!" in Scottish Gaelic
Monday, March 16, 2009
Review of "BIG LOVE"
Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: I recorded last night's controversial Home Box Office episode of "BIG LOVE", and just finished watching it. I admit my curiosity was aroused by all the publicized fuss. Since the show is only an hour long, and there are numerous separate story plots occurring throughout, I had my doubts that there would really even be anything shown about the temple, unless it was maybe a second or two of seeing folks dressed in white. Well, I was wrong. I'm not a fan of "BIG LOVE", having only seen parts of it on a couple of previous episodes quite a while back. To me, the series seemed a bit ridiculous. Anyway, last night's episode definitely showed that which should not have been shown. Furthermore, contrary to the statements made by HBO executives, the depicted temple scenes had nothing at all to do with the show, and could have been omitted entirely. To make it worse, they showed the individuals conspiring to deceive temple officials, with lies and fraud, in order to enter the temple unworthily. You really had to wonder, "If these folks think the Church is wrong (regarding plural marriage), then why were they so anxious to enter a temple they obviously don't really believe in, and why would they lie about it?" There was a Church court, with an excommunication, all done with appropriately emotional background music intended to make The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints appear especially cruel and vindictive. Other facets of the program evoked memories of Mark Hofmann's forged "White Salamander" letter, with its accompanying bombings in Salt Lake City. Members of the polygamous family were cheating on each other, a little girl was kidnapped, and there was discussion of at least one murder by a family member. Yes, all this stuff really puts our Church in a positive light, huh? Still, I maintain that any publicity is good publicity, for if approached correctly, it might yet lead to unexpected member missionary opportunities. Thank you. John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
Sunday, March 15, 2009
NASA STS-119 Mission Launch
Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: As I type this message, I'm using my computer to watch the preparations for the launch of NASA Space Shuttle Mission STS-119. You can watch this live television broadcast at the NASA-TV web site. You can also download a copy of the STS-119 Mission Schedule, in either PDF format (which I chose), or XLS format. You have a choice of which method you want to use to watch the NASA-TV broadcast. As for my own preference, I selected my computer system's Windows Media Player, and zoomed to full-screen. Barring any unforeseen glitches, the space shuttle, DISCOVERY, is currently scheduled to take off at 1943 Hours, Eastern Time (i.e., 7:43 PM), on Sunday 15 March 2009, from the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral, Florida. I reckon I'll strum my guitar and practice singing some old songs while I'm sitting here watching the program. In the past, I've tried and tried to get the administrative staff here at the Old Soldiers' Home to put these NASA-TV broadcasts on the Soldiers' Home's own Comcast Cable Television Channel 99, so all of the residents can enjoy watching the space missions, but they just ignore my suggestions and comments, and furthermore, they aren't even courteous enough to make a response. Mox nix. If you want to gather 'round the young'uns, this would be a nice family activity. So, pile up on the big comfy couch, and send out for pizza. The Jedi knights of the Old Republic ride again (except THIS stuff is really happening)!!! Pass the popcorn, please. Ain't this the neatest thing? Thank you. John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
Movie Critique: "NIM'S ISLAND"
Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: I just now watched the movie, NIM'S ISLAND, in high definition, which I had recorded from the Home Box Office channel on the digital video recording chip included with my subscription to Comcast Cable Television. Made in 2008, the movie stars Jodie Foster. It's all about the perilous and serendipitous misadventures of a precocious little girl on an island in the South Pacific, not too far from Australia, which is why most of the cast is from Down Under. Being a guy, I was mostly interested in watching Jodie Foster and her strategically torn skirt. It's funny, but until John Hinckley made her famous, I never noticed her. How can a self-proclaimed lesbian manage to still look and act feminine enough to be attractive to us guys? Maybe she only claims to be a lesbian because it's the "in" thing to do if you wish to remain a popular Hollywood actress repeatedly starring in hit movies. Maybe it's because I'm just a lonely old geezer living in the Old Soldiers' Home, and all I can do is daydream about the young, attractive, blonde beauties on television, such as the unattainable Jodie Foster. Anyway, there's all sorts of critters, and all sorts of mishaps and dangers, just the thing for the little ones. Yes, it's a movie targeted specifically at youth, but still, Mama and Daddy should watch this movie WITH their children, in order to answer questions or make appropriate commentary. NEVER let children watch television or movies without BOTH of their parents present! I highly recommend NIM'S ISLAND as being safe for little children and other living things. So, gather 'round all the young'uns, pile up on the big comfy couch, and send out for some pizza, for it's family night! Pass the popcorn, please. Thank you. John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
Thursday, March 12, 2009
"Gay" Versus "Homosexual"?
Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: Regarding the press release, CHURCH STATEMENT ON 'BIG LOVE', posted at the official web site of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints, I do have one strong objection. There are a couple of instances where the word, "Gay", is used to describe homosexuals. Do you see our increasing acceptance of Marxist-inspired politically correct language, as it, oh so slowly, and ever persistently, gradually creeps in among the members of our Church? If someone is homosexual, then that is the term that should be used. The word, "Gay", must be restored to its former innocuous synonym denoting joyous frivolity. That won't happen unless we Latter-day Saints, and other American citizens, seize the initiative, and promote the practice. Thank you. John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
Movie Critique: "THE MAJESTIC"
Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: I just finished watching THE MAJESTIC, starring Jim Carrey, made in 2001. Gosh, gee whillikers, could there ever be a Jim Carrey movie I would NOT like? I didn't recognize Martin Landau because he'd lost so much weight. I didn't recognize David Ogden Stiers because he had gained so much weight. I did recognize Hal Holbrook and James Whitmore (who just recently passed away). The various scenes in this movie evoked a lot of personal memories and emotions. To begin with, I used to live in the apartment above the lobby of a decrepit unused old theatre, in a small town, where after it was renovated, I frequently performed in local community theatre productions. Here at the Ol' Soldiers' Home, I seldom leave my room, but years ago, I used to show the movies and manage our theatre. This movie takes place in 1951, and is about a Hollywood script writer who has an accident which leaves him with amnesia. Folks in a local small community welcome him home as a long lost war hero, where he lives in the apartment above the lobby of the decrepit unused old theatre, which is then renovated. See why this rings some bells for me? And, of course, I gave a rousing cheer when I saw the 101st Airborne Division "Screaming Eagles" patch, for that was MY unit in Viet Nam! Elsewhere in the movie, the town's music teacher attempts to have Franz Liszt's HUNGARIAN RHAPSODY performed. Ah, so many years have passed, and I can't tell you what emotions that piece of classical music recalls! It was featured in a television commercial where a little girl used her candle to light other candles, as a darkened Budapest was suddenly illuminated. Those of you who weren't yet born when Communism collapsed and Eastern Europe became free can not know the exhilirating hope that swept the globe, for that moment can't be adequately described or duplicated. Of course, I did NOT like the movie's perpetuation of that same old distorted political slant, of Hollywood versus the House Un-American Activities Committee. The cold, hard, brutal fact is that there really was a Communist conspiracy, and the Communist Party, U.S.A., really did (and still does) seek the destruction of our Country. We learned the truth of this when the former Soviet Union's archived documents were finally revealed. Another problem with the movie is that the locomotive on that railroad train wasn't manufactured at that time. But, I'm one of those crazy railroad buffs that goes "ga-ga!" over every choo-choo train, so maybe I'm the only one to notice stuff like that, and it ain't all that important to anyone else. So, I highly recommend this movie. In fact, it would be an excellent teaching opportunity for Mama and Daddy to explain a little bit of history and heritage to their little ones. Gather 'round your young'uns, pile up on the big comfy couch, and send out for some pizza, 'cause it's family time! Pass the popcorn, please. Thank you. John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |
HUNGARIAN RHAPSODY Number Two, by Franz Liszt
This was the music that was played on the television commercial where a little girl was using a candle to light other candles, back when Communism collapsed and Eastern Europe became free.
I'll never forget those days!
Sunday's "BIG LOVE" Episode
Brothers and Sisters: Perhaps you're aware of the current news coverage of reaction by individual members of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints to the scheduled episode of BIG LOVE on the Home Box Office channel this coming Sunday 15 March 2009 at 2100 Hours (i.e., 9:00 PM) Eastern Time. Here is a letter to the editor published in today's issue of DESERET NEWS, and my published response to it. *************** *************** 'BIG' BIG SHOTS GO TOO FAR Published: 12 March 2009 So the "Big Love" big shots have chosen to follow their profits and prove their power through desecration, on the grounds they are being accurate? Are they then willing to publish the private resting places of their dearest departed, so that all who wish may come forth and accurately spit upon them? Steven Day Cottonwood Heights ______________________ ______________________ Wasn't Interested, But - - - ? 0140 Hours Mountain Time Thursday 12 March 2009 Brother Day, Et Alii: I'm a member of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints, and I've only seen portions of a couple of episodes of the HBO series, "BIG LOVE", which I deemed inaccurate and uninteresting. But, thanks to all this publicity, my natural curiosity is piqued, and I'm definitely going to either watch or record this controversial episode. In human nature, there's nothing quite so attractive as that which is forbidden. According to a statement at the Church's official web site, we'd be better off just ignoring this issue, rather than calling attention to it. Additionally, I've always felt that any publicity, whether positive or negative, is ultimately good for The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints, due to the curiosity it provokes, and the resulting member missionary opportunities it presents. Thank you. John Robert Mallernee Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 *************** *************** Do any of y'all have any thoughts on this? Normally, that television series, BIG LOVE, just ain't all that interesting to me. Anyway, how does a polygamist manage to get endowed in the Temple? Of course, I haven't yet seen the show, so maybe it's not a polygamist going through the Temple. Mox nix. Like I said, this CAN be an excellent missionary opportunity if we handle it correctly! Hey, you know what they say in show business: "It doesn't matter what they say about the Church, just as long as they spell the name correctly." "Any publicity is GOOD publicity!" Oh, Horrors!!! I just now realized something! Do you realize that tomorrow is FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH? AAAAAAuugh!!!! Thank you. John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." |