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Tuesday, January 24, 2012



I accidentally discovered something when shopping last night(?) at Wal-Mart.

I like going there during the wee small hours, because there's fewer people, and so, it's a lot less stressful, and easier to find a nice parking spot for my full sized four wheel drive pickup truck.

Because I'm a lonely old guy, and I've been alone most of my life, I habitually talk to myself, just like a crazy person.

Yep, that's me, walking around talking to myself, totally, absolutely, utterly INSANE!!!

However, thanks to the marvels of our modern technology, I've discovered I can get away with it.

With a Blue Tooth device stuck in my ear, folks think I'm not crazy after all, but that I'm merely talking to somebody on my cell phone, just like any normal, sane person.

Yes, that ruse even works when I forget and leave my cell phone in the cab of my pickup truck, which is what happened last night.

Neat, huh?

I'm walking around Wal-Mart in the wee hours, talking to myself, wearing a Blue Tooth in my ear, but with no cell phone.

"They're coming to take me away - - - !!!"

Well, I reckon it's mox nix, for nobody's likely to mess with me, because physically, I'm a rather large guy, with a full set of bushy whiskers, and I'm NEVER seen without my trusty shillelagh.

Of course, we all remember the widely accepted conventional folk wisdom that a man is really only "psychotic" as long as he doesn't have any money.

However, an insane individual who has money can be forgiven their human foibles, for folks who have money are considered to be "eccentric".

Heh! Heh! Heh!

Yuk! Yuk!


(i.e., "NAPOLEON XIV")


VERSE # 01:
Remember when
You ran away,
And I got on my knees,
And begged you
Not to leave
Because I'd go berserk?
Well, you left me anyhow,
And the days got
Worse and worse,
And now, you see
I've gone completely
Out of my mind.

And they're coming
To take me away!
Ha! Ha!
They're coming
To take me away,
Ho! Ho!
He! He!
Ha! Ha!
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time,
And I'll be happy
To see those nice young men
In their clean white coats,
And they're coming
To take me away!
Ha! Ha!

VERSE # 02:
You thought it was joke,
And so, you laughed.
You laughed when I had said
That losing you
Would make me flip my lid, right?
You know you laughed,
I heard you laugh,
You laughed, you laughed,
And laughed and then
You left, but now
You know I'm utterly mad.

VERSE # 03:
I cooked your food,
I cleaned your house,
And this is how you
Pay me back for all
My kind unselfish loving deeds?
Huh? Well you just wait.
They'll find you yet,
And when they do,
They'll put you
In the A.S.P.C.A.,
You mangy mutt!


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