YOU ARE A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE STAR ! ! !

*************************************** *************************************** ********* WARNING ! ! ! ********* This dangerously illegal and immoral subversive underground resistance message is being surreptitiously monitored by the Beaming Internet Government Broadband Radio Oscillation Telecommunications Hearing Electronic Reconnaissance (i.e., B.I.G. B.R.O.T.H.E.R.) as part of a coordinated official clandestine domestic surveillance investigation, in cooperation with the National Administration of Zealous Interrogation (i.e., N.A.Z.I.) and the Commission On Message Monitoring Investigative Electronics (i.e., C.O.M.M.I.E.). Serious felony criminal charges are pending, with extreme penalties yet to be determined! ****************************  Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: Have you ever dreamed of becoming a Hollywood movie star? If so, I've got news for you. You already are! Yes, you are the star of your own epic Hollywood feature film. You're also the writer, producer, and director. The rest of us - - - , your friends, family, acquaintances, and assorted humanity - - - , are the supporting cast in the Hollywood movie about your life. What, you didn't already know?  Your agent didn't tell you? Can't you hear the orchestra playing your theme music in the background?  Everywhere you go, all of the time, you are surrounded by zillions of hidden miniature cameras and microphones, which permanently record every word you speak, and every move you make. So, make certain you're looking presentable for your adoring public, and be sure to use correct grammar and enunciation. When it comes time for the annual Academy Awards show (a truly boring and phony spectacle that I never watch), you can expect to see me on stage expressing my profound gratitude to you and the rest of the supporting cast for making a huge box office success of MY movie about MY life, in which I'm the writer, producer, director, and starring actor.  As everybody knows, it's every actor's dream to be able to die on stage, and guess what - - - ?  At the conclusion of the show, ALL of us get to do that!  The real question will be, when the final curtain comes down, and the end credits are rolling, will my show, and/or your show, be nationally syndicated and aired in reruns on television? So, do you have your lines memorized? Is everything ready? Props? Costumes? Makeup? Once more - - - , with FEELING!  Quiet on the set!  Lights!  Camera!  Action!  Thank you.  John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Gulfport, Mississippi  39507 NOTE:  "My unpopular and/or controversial personal opinions do not represent my Scottish clan." ___________________________ A BRAND NEW HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTER ! ! ! JOHN ROBERT MALLERNEE An Epic Feature of Adventure and Romance ! ! !  Starring:  John Robert Mallernee Directed by:  John Robert Mallernee Produced by:  John Robert Mallernee Written by: John Robert Mallernee  From an idea by:  John Robert Mallernee Music by:  John Robert Mallernee  Appearing Soon in Your Local Theatre! *************************************** ***************************************