OUR ETERNAL STRUGGLE: A ROOM WITH A VIEW!

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Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Big, big, really BIG, big news!

As requested many, many moons ago (about two years), I just now got assigned to another room.

It's Room C-737, located on the OUTSIDE of the Seventh Floor of the Eastern Tower (the side which faces Biloxi) at the extreme North end of the building (so, I only have one neighbor to make complaints).

It has an EXCELLENT view of the ocean (i.e., the Mississippi Sound) and of the casinos in Biloxi.

That means a FANTASTIC view of the local fireworks on Independence Day and New Year's Eve, plus a good view of military aircraft taking off and/or landing at Keesler Air Force Base.

I might be able to record some good videos from the balcony of my new room.

Eventually, whenever I can afford it (a couple of centuries from now?), I'll have to invest in a high definition zoom lens video camera and a new (notepad or notebook?) computer with high definition capability, a few wireless HDMI connectors, and a bunch of those USB memory drives.

Also, for actively engaging in general espionage activity from that vantage point, I ought to get a really good pair of binoculars, and maybe even a tripod mounted telescope.

I need to buy a programmable scanner, so I can know when trains are coming, and have my camera ready to record them.

Monday, I have to pay two hundred fifty dollars ($250.00) to have my old room cleaned after I move out.

Volunteers from the local Seabee Base will be helping me move, and I have at a least a week to get it done, so someone else can get this room I'm in now.

One of the things I like about that new location is I never have to close my blinds, because at that height, no one can ever see me.

I reckon I'd better call Cable One and have my Internet connection transferred.

My mailing address (i.e., "A.F.R.H.-G. Unit 311") will remain the same.

Ah, and I'll need to let Domino's and Pizza Hut know my new room number!

For me to get that room, I reckon somebody died.

Actually, since I was originally number thirty-three (33 - - - Ba Muy Ba!) on the waiting list, I reckon a whole bunch of folks must have died.

That's just about the only way folks leave this place.

Have you ever seen the BBC television comedy series, "WAITING FOR GOD"?

It's not shown in this area, but I used to enjoy watching it at the Ol' Soldiers' Home in Washington, D.C.

Well, that's what goes on in this place.

We're all sitting around waiting for God to come get us.

One of the really nice new improvements here is our mess hall now keeps the short order grill going in between regular meals.

So, if you want to avoid standing in a long chow line, you can skip the regular meal, and go to the short order line later on for hot dogs and burgers.

So, a little while ago, I went down to the mess hall and got me a hot dog and a bacon cheese burger, with two glasses of ice cold Coca-Cola, and a BIG bowl of lactose free soft vanilla ice cream.

I sat out on the terrace, basking in the warm, brilliant sunshine, to enjoy my repast.

I love dining outside on the terrace, gazing out towards the sea.

It's what rich folks do in movies and novels.

If residents want to eat healthy meals at odd hours, then Spiro's Canteen has cereal, milk, juice, et cetera twenty-four hours a day.

While I was downstairs, there was a dance going on in our Community Room.

They had a really good trio playing live music, three old guys (!) - - - , one of them on saxophone, another on piano, and a guy, who in spite of his obvious age, could really sing!

Everybody was all duded up and really swinging, having a high old time.

I think they do this every Friday afternoon.

Here in my room, I've finally gotten around to defrosting my refrigerators.

After I figured out what I was doing wrong, I eventually got my personal refrigerator defrosted.

Last night, I had a bunch of ice cream cones and an ice cream sandwich permanently stuck in the freezer, which I had to rip loose and put into a bowl to eat, while watching an old RIN TIN TIN movie at the YOU TUBE web site.

Are you old enough to know who Rin Tin Tin is (or was)?

If you've got young'uns, I'll bet they never heard of him.

Have you seen all the FREE movies that you can watch at the YOU TUBE web site?

There's SCADS of them - - - , movies clear up the ying yang!

Anyway, I'm currently defrosting the other refrigerator, the one which belongs to the Home.

It has all sorts of ice caked up inside both the freezer and the refrigerator.

I was planning on going over to Wal-Mart later on, probably well after midnight (for that's when I prefer to shop), to purchase summer sausages, extra sharp cheddar cheese, packages of weiners, packages of Uncle Ben's Ready Rice, a couple or three jugs of SIMPLY APPLE juice (the best laxative you'll EVER see!), and a whole lot of caffeine free Pepsi-Cola.

Currently, I've got plenty of Tootsie Pops, Tootsie Rolls, and salt water taffy in my cabinet, along with pecans and almonds, and Hershey's dark chocolate bars.

I'll buy my soap, toilet paper, paper towels, laxative, and skin salve (I have a REALLY horrible rash - - - very painful) here in the Home, downstairs in our Navy Exchange mini-mart.

I buy all those goodies, so I can offer them to my visitors.

But, alas (A lass? What lass? Alas, there is no lass!), I never have visitors, so I eventually end up eating everything up all by myself, and just continue to get more and more obese and more and more sick.

I rarely ever leave my room to go anywhere, so I need to force myself to get out and do something.

One of these days, I want to ride that Beachcomber Trolley shuttle that goes along the shoreline, so I can get familiar with Biloxi and Gulfport.

Another thing I want to do is go take that cruise out to Ship Island, so I can tour Fort Massachusetts, and go wading in the crashing waves of the Gulf of Mexico.

Women drivers!

Do you reckon that's why them there W.A.V.E.S. are always crashing?

Boy, oh boy, oh boy, a room on the Seventh Floor, on the OUTSIDE of the building - - - , just WAIT until we get another Category Five hurricane!

Hmmm - - - , maybe THAT's why this room is available.

Maybe the former resident got totally freaked out by our recent experience with Hurricane Isaac.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee

Official Bard of Clan Henderson

Armed Forces Retirement Home

Gulfport, Mississippi 39507