FWT Homepage Translator

Wednesday, May 29, 2013


Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Gosh, gee whillikers, but I sure wish you could be here to see what I'm seeing!

The dawn, after having cracked, has broken, and it can't be repaired.

From the floor to ceiling windows of my quarters here at the Armed Forces Retirement Home in Gulfport, Mississippi, as I'm looking due East towards Keesler Air Force Base, just barely peeking from over the very edge of the horizon, I see a red sun, now rising.

File:Naval Ensign of Japan.svg

I ain't no eggs spurt, but I'm pretty sure that means we're now under attack and being invaded by military forces of the Empire of Japan.

I've invented a new invention, for which I demand full credit and all the royalties.

Here then, are my step by step instructions for my brand new sinfully delicious recipe:

First of all, go to the grocery store and purchase a fresh pie.

My personal favorite is pecan or coconut cream, but I suppose any pie will do.

Eat the pie.

If you're a bachelor like me, then you must eat the entire pie.

Next, open a can of cherry pie filling, get a spoon, and put some of the cherry pie filling in the empty pie tin.

After that, take an aerosol can of whipped cream and spray a heaping mountain of whipped cream to completely cover and/or envelope the cherry pie filling.

Dip the spoon in it, and stir it up a couple or three times.

Then, proceed to EAT, preferably while watching a television show or a DVD.

Remember, I am the inventor of this wonderful bachelor television snack, and sooooo - - - ,

If you decide to eat this, then you must pay me some royalties.

Also, just like Bush's Baked Beans, the recipe for my bachelor television snack is classified as, "TOP SECRET", so whatever you do, do NOT share the details of my recipe with anyone, especially any talkative Golden Retrievers named "Duke".

Pretty nifty, huh?

Thank you. 

John Robert Mallernee 
Armed Forces Retirement Home 
1800 Beach Drive, Unit 311 
Gulfport, Mississippi  39507


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