Yen For Dollars

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Here are some jokes I just saw, which simply must be shared.

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I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.

I chose the shortest line.

There was just one guy in front of me.

He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated.

He asked the teller, "Why it change?

Yestoday I get two hunat dolla fo yen.

Today I get hunat eighty?"

The teller says, "Fluctuations."

The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys, too!"

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QUESTION:

What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

ANSWER:

Where's popcorn?

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QUESTION:

What is the difference between a school teacher and a railroad train?

ANSWER:

The school teacher says, "Spit out your gum!", while the railroad train says, "Chew! Chew!"

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Hee Haw!!!

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

"My personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Whence Went Israel?

***** WARNING!!! *****

This dangerously illegal and immoral subversive underground resistance message is being surreptitiously monitored by the Beaming Internet Government Broadband Radio Oscillation Telecommunications Hearing Electronic Reconnaissance (i.e., B.I.G. B.R.O.T.H.E.R.) as part of a coordinated official clandestine domestic surveillance investigation, in cooperation with the National Administration of Zealous Interrogation (i.e., N.A.Z.I.) and the Commission On Message Monitoring Investigative Electronics (i.e., C.O.M.M.I.E.).

Serious felony criminal charges are pending, with extreme penalties yet to be determined!

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Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

For the enlightenment of those who are unfamiliar with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints (i.e., the so-called "Mormon" church), this message is written from the unique viewpoint of my peculiar chosen faith.

Further explanations can be obtained from official sources at this web site:

http://mormon.org/

However, as a caveat, you must realize that everything I am writing is my own purely personal speculation, and I readily admit my own sad lack of education and/or access to factual data.

I do feel influenced by inspiration as I write this, but that might be the effects of the pizza and fried chicken I ate at chow time.

While I may be guided by good intentions, I'm also possessed of a very mischievous spirit, which can take my rather inquisitive nature far afield from conventional wisdom.

I reckon if I don't wind up in Hell, it'll truly be a miracle of Divine intervention, huh?

I just finished watching a documentary on cable television's History Channel of "WARRIOR QUEEN BOUDICA", and it really got the wheels spinning within my brain.

Here is the web site URL for that program:

http://store.aetv.com/html/product/index.jhtml?id=75604

Here is the web site URL for the major Hollywood motion picture production of "WARRIOR QUEEN", the story of Boudicca:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338806/

Do you see the numerous uncanny similarities between American Indians, ancient Celts, and Israel?

In a previous post, I mentioned that I had read in a very obscure unapproved text of a theory that the word, "SAXON", indicates the children of Isaac, which is yet another description of the people of Israel.

Thus, when attempting to research the escape route of the "lost" tribes of Israel, that is one clue which historians can utilize.

Another is the name, "Dan", which can be found throughout Europe, such as Denmark, the Danube River, and the Don River.

While watching a late night evangelical telecast, I learned of a hymn still sung by the Dutch Reformed Church attesting the people of Holland are of the Tribe of Zebulon.

The official national symbol of Ireland is King David's harp, which according to legend, was brought to Ireland by the prophet, Jeremiah, who is reputed to be buried at Tara.

Neat, huh?

According to the "BOOK OF MORMON", another testament of Jesus Christ, many of the ancestors of the American Indian came from Israel.

So, when I was watching the documentary, I wondered about the Celtic tribal name, "Iceni", and surmised it might be a derivative of "Israel", due to the similarities in the sound of the first syllable.

Of course, the difficulty in trying to decipher something like that is that Gaelic, the language of the Celts, is an oral, not written tradition, so the proper pronunciation and spelling of virtually all Celtic nomenclature is only guesswork.

For instance, few can even agree on the correct spelling or pronunciation of "Boudica", "Iceni", or even "Celt".

In the Gaelic alphabet, the letter "C" is always pronounced as "K", and never as "S".

Thus, "Celt" is properly pronounced, "Kelt", and not, "Selt".

So, maybe "Iceni" should be pronounced as, "Aye-Kee-Nee", and not as, "Aye-See-Nee"?

If that's the case, then my idea of the first syllable of "Iceni" resembling the first syllable of "Israel" has no validity.

I observed that both ancient Celts and American Indians would paint themselves for battle.

Neither Celts nor American Indians wore trousers or armor.

The fighting tactic employed by both Celts and American Indians was the same, i.e., wildly screaming and charging their enemy.

Both Celts and American Indians, as was ancient Israel, were organized first by family, and then by tribe or clan, with no concept of state or nation.

Both Celt and American Indian continually exercised war and plunder as a normal way of life.

When the Celts went into battle, both men and women fought side by side, and although Hollywood and conventional public schools don't normally depict it, were totally naked.

Indeed, Roman soldiers were so terrified by the sight of naked screaming females, armed and painted, rushing straight at them, that the panicked Romans would throw down their swords and flee from the field.

According to accounts in the "BOOK OF MORMON", the ancestors of the American Indians went into battle, both male and female, painted and totally naked.

Professor David Yeagley, Ph.D. , a descendant of the Comanche, Bad Eagle, informs us that Comanche boys were taught their combat skills by their mothers.

Recently, the Cherokee Nation had a female chief, Wilma P. Mankiller.

We all remember the story in "THE BOOK OF JUDGES" of Deborah, an Israelite prophetess who led her army against the Canaanites.

Boudicca and the Iceni used chariots and horses as they battled the Romans.

Now, where did the Iceni learn to build and use chariots?

Did they merely copy the Romans?

Or was this a link to Celtic ancestors who migrated from Israel?

In the "BOOK OF LEVITICUS", the Children of Israel are given a specific commandment from Jehovah forbidding them from marking or piercing their bodies.

Since both Celts and American Indians indulged in this, it indicates that they each had either rejected, forgotten, or perverted their religious links to their Israelite forebears.

So, I am thus more and more increasingly intrigued by the possibilities of anthropological links between the American Indian (observe I do NOT call them "Native American"), the Celts, and ancient Israel.

Do you have any thoughts of your own regarding these observations and speculation?

You may wish to share my reverie with others.

If so, please be considerate and conceal the identities of multiple recipients, in order to preserve their privacy.

Also, instead of merely forwarding an e-mail, it's better to HIGHLIGHT, COPY, and PASTE the pertinent text into the body of a brand-new blank e-mail.

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

"My personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

SOMETHING I CAN'T DO - - -

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NOTE: This message was originally posted at the "OUR ETERNAL STRUGGLE" web site on Thursday 09 March 2006.
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Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Yes, born in 1946, I'm a bona fide member of the "Baby Boom" generation, and a little over a month ago, I observed my sixtieth birthday.

(You'll notice, I did NOT say "celebrate".)

One of my major disappointments in becoming sixty years old is that I'm no longer eligible to donate bone marrow.

Many years ago, I became a member of the National Marrow Donor Program.

A lot of years have gone by, but I was never asked to donate.

Now, I never will be.

It's especially disappointing to me because I wanted to try and copy Jesus, the Christ.


 

Jesus Christ suffered more than any mortal man could suffer, in order to save all men.

I'm not Jesus Christ, so I was hoping to endure just a little pain in order to save just one life.

But, it never happened.

So, I'm writing this e-mail in hopes that it might inspire others to do what I cannot.

If you're young enough, and in good physical health, please consider volunteering to donate your bone marrow.

Yes, there is some pain, but isn't it worth it?

On another subject, but somewhat related, the medical folks stopped letting me donate blood several years ago.

They think my medication might be hiding symptoms of a disease or parasite still unknown to medical science, acquired when I was a soldier in the old Republic of Viet Nam.

So, I can't donate blood.

That's too bad, for regularly donating a pint of blood is one of the healthiest things a man can do.

Each donation immediately lowers blood pressure and cholesterol.

So, I just rely on occasional severe nosebleeds to do the job.

When I get a nosebleed, instead of attempting to stop it, I step into my shower, turn on the hot water, and just let the blood run until it eventually stops on its own.

I figure that might help.

Did you know Attila the Hun died from a nosebleed?

I was watching a program on television and learned that death from severe nosebleeds is a lot more common than most folks realize.

Apparently, a lot of females are affected, because a side effect of plastic surgery restructuring a nose, is creation of an aneurysm, which can unexpectedly burst many years later.

I wonder if guys have that same problem, since we get into fist fights and get our noses punched and/or broken over and over?

So, if you haven't already been doing so, please donate your blood on a regular basis, and also sign up to donate bone marrow.

Also, if you have volunteered to be an organ donor at the moment of death, be sure to TELL someone, preferably your next of kin.

Just having the information notated on your driver's license is not good enough (or so I've been told).

It's on my driver's license and I've told everyone I can think of, whether or not they are related, that when I pass on, if any of my organs can be salvaged and harvested, then I definitely want them donated.

Who knows, but what YOU might save someone else's life!

Wouldn't that be super neat?

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400 

NOTE: "My controversial and unpopular personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan." 

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Soldiers' Home Response to WASHINGTON POST

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Here is the official response by the administration here at the Ol' Soldiers' Home to the news article published in the "WASHINGTON POST" newspaper on Tuesday 21 February 2006.

"GROWTH FIGHT INVADES SOLDIERS' REFUGE"

The URL for that news report is:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/20/AR2006022001365.html

The URL for the "WASHINGTON POST" newspaper is:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/

The URL for the Ol' Soldiers' Home in Washington, D.C. is:

http://www.afrh.gov/

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LAND HELD IN TRUST FOR OLD SOLDIERS

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/03/AR2006030301558_pf.html


Sunday, 05 March 2006

B08

The Armed Forces Retirement Home, one of the nation's oldest retirement communities for veterans, is crafting a master plan to address its chronic financial problems and to guide and control development on its Northwest campus for the next twenty-five years.

Congress has authorized the Home to use its most valuable asset, its land, to generate revenue.

Unfortunately, a small group of critics is misrepresenting the Home's intentions, ignoring the needs of veterans and demanding that the Home give up twenty-four of its acres for public use ("GROWTH FIGHT INVADES SOLDIERS' REFUGE; Retirement Home's Proposal Infuriates D.C. Neighbors," the METRO Section, Tuesday 21 February 2006).

Despite the overheated rhetoric of some of these critics, the Home has no intention of building skyscrapers or strip malls, or of paving over the campus.

The plan focuses development on the edges of the campus to keep the green core untouched.

It requires developers to respect green buffers and set aside acres of open space.

It keeps a federal buffer around the campus, which includes a national historic monument - - - the so-called Lincoln Cottage that Abraham Lincoln used as a summer White House.

The density of the new development will amount to only a fraction of the density just across the street at the Washington Hospital Center.

The height of the new buildings will be less than the height of existing buildings on campus and neighboring hospital buildings.

The Home intends to lease the land, not sell it, to maintain control.

In response to public calls for more open space, the Home has added bicycle and foot paths and pocket parks, and it has focused initial development efforts in a section of campus most distant from the residential neighborhood.

It also put on hold two development zones bordered by Park Place and Rock Creek Church Road adjacent to a residential neighborhood.

The plan calls for construction of housing in those zones similar to that across the street from the campus.

But some neighbors are demanding that the Home give up this acreage for their use.

They complain about the erosion of open space and cite the 1902 McMillan Plan as a template for preservation in Washington.

They ignore the fact that construction of their own homes and the amenities for their neighborhood contributed to this erosion of open space.

The Armed Forces Retirement Home campus once stretched across more than five hundred acres.

Nearly half that land was lost to construction of hospitals, educational and religious facilities, and city roads, all of which benefit this area of Washington.

The traffic triangles in which neighborhood children play were once part of the Home.

The critics who are eager to seize the veterans' land for a public park ignore a twenty-five acre parcel just a few blocks away at the McMillan Reservoir.

This parcel has languished since the city purchased it from the federal government nearly twenty years ago.

To take away any more land from veterans who already have given so much is unconscionable.

This land was purchased with booty obtained by General Winfield Scott during the Mexican War in the mid-Nineteenth Century; it was designated for the housing of elderly and disabled veterans.

This institution has been maintained by the payroll deductions of active-duty members of the military for generations.

This is not just another piece of federal land.

The federal government has held this land in trust for veterans for more than one hundred fifty years, and we have an obligation to make sure it is used for their benefit.

Timothy Cox
Chief Operating Officer
Armed Forces Retirement Home.

afrhmaster.plan@afrh.gov

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You may wish to share this information with others.

If so, please be considerate and conceal the identities of multiple recipients, in order to preserve their privacy.

Also, when relaying an e-mail message, it's better to "HIGHLIGHT", "COPY", and "PASTE" the pertinent text into a brand new blank e-mail, as merely forwarding e-mails is unsightly and aggravating.

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

"My personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Good News!!!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

I just received an e-mail from friends back in Utah telling me their son was wounded in Iraq.

That's bad news, right?

Nope, and here's why - - -

Do you remember all the news reports we've been seeing in the media about how our military vehicles are not properly armored and the personal body armor doesn't always work as it should?

Well, this young Marine military police sniper was riding in a Humvee with four other Marines when a roadside bomb was detonated on his side of the vehicle.

Everybody was wounded, but the other four, including his commanding officer, were treated and released.

My neighbor's boy was hospitalized with shrapnel in his leg, and scheduled for surgery.

His wound is not serious enough to require evacuation, and he's expected to return to duty in a couple of weeks.

So, that's why I'm calling it "good news".

The armor WORKED the way it was designed to!

Ain't that neat?

But, as you might well imagine, his mother sure ain't happy about it, though.

The Marines have arranged for him to telephone her today.

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

"My personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Lane Frank Trueblood 1949 - 2006

From the Friday 03 March 2006 issue of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE newspaper Internet web site:

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LANE FRANK TRUEBLOOD, fifty-six years, born 23 November 1949, passed away unexpectedly Thursday 02 March 2006 during heart surgery, beloved husband of Holly for thirty-five years; loving father of Laurie Postlewait and Debbie (Craig) Witt; dear brother of John (Joyce) Richardson, Tom Richardson, and Richard Richardson; fond uncle of Becky, Ryanne, Mike, Cathy, Chuck, Jane and Jim; Godfather of Eileen, Katy and Catriona; and friend to many.

Visitation Saturday, 11:00 AM until time of service at 4:00 PM at Blake-Lamb Funeral Home, 5015 Lincoln (Route Fifty-Three and Short Street), Lisle, Illinois 60532.

Interment private.

Lane was a member of Great Light Lodge, Decatur, Illinois and Sons of Confederate Veterans.

Memorials to the Women's Center, 5116 North Cicero Avenue, Suite 302, Chicago, Illinois 60630 or the Fayette County Genealogical and Historical Society, Post Office Box 177, Vandalia, Illinois 62471-0177, would be appreciated.

To celebrate Lane's life, visit http://www.mem.com/, or call 630-964-9392.

Published in the CHICAGO TRIBUNE on Friday 03 March 2006.

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At that web site, a guest book is provided where visitors can record their thoughts.

Although the obituary doesn't mention it, Lane Trueblood was also active in Clan Henderson and regularly participated in local Scottish events.

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

"My personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Song Lyrics: "A SON OF SCOTLAND IS GONE"

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Here is a song I composed in honor of the late Dr. John William Philp Henderson of Fordell, Chief of the Name and Arms of Clan Henderson, who left this world on 27 September 2004 in Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia.

I am posting it at the web site of my personal journal, "OUR ETERNAL STRUGGLE", in honor of my cousin, Lane Trueblood, as the lyrics are particularly apropos.

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A SON OF SCOTLAND IS GONE

Words and Music by:

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee

Wednesday 29 September 2004

VERSE # 1:

The flowers of the forest

Are bonny in the sunlight,

Painting bright colors

On lea, braes, and glen.

Surrounded by heather,

The burn lightly babbles.

All birdies and creatures

Hae something they ken.

CHORUS:

A son of Scotland is gone,

And kinsmen will greet, keen, and moan.

Each heart is a flame

To honor the name,

For the clan lives forever and on.

Our clan lives forever and on.

VERSE # 2:

Our clan will awaken

At the skirl of the war pipes;

Ancient tradition

Observed e'en today.

In this solemn moment

Of flowers of the forest,

Each heart in the clan

Will respectfully pray.

VERSE # 3:

From hielands, and low lands,

And all the misty islands,

The blood of our warriors

And chieftains would roam.

As the dew and wee birdies

Announce each Scottish morning,

It's written each man

And his life hae their gloam.

VERSE # 4:

Our clan is united

By centuries of legend.

The virtue of heroes

Is told in our lore.

Our badge and our tartan

Which we are proudly wearing

Inspire us to follow

Our forebears of yore.

CONCLUDE:

Each heart is a flame

To honor the name,

For the clan lives forever,

Forever and ever.

Our clan lives forever

And on.

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Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

"My personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Flowers of the Forest

Greetings:

I was shocked and saddened to receive this latest e-mail from Holly Trueblood, Lane's wife.

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" I am so very sorry to tell you that Lane passed away this morning.

He underwent what was expected to be simply bypass surgery yesterday, but complications developed and his heart was never able to take over on its own again.

Please feel free to keep in touch, I certainly want to maintain contact with you.

Details will be in the Chicago Tribune and on their website.

His wife, Holly "
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For the benefit of those who receive this e-mail who are unfamiliar with Scottish culture, we refer to our deceased as "flowers of the forest", hence the title in the subject line of this e-mail.

As stated in my previous e-mail, in which I solicited prayers in Lane's behalf prior to his surgery, Lane Trueblood was very active in Clan Henderson and Scottish events.

He customarily wore his Clan Henderson kilt to the annual Robert Burns dinner, and his daughters journeyed to Scotland to participate in Highland dancing competition.

Lane Trueblood was extremely helpful to me, and without his assistance, I would not have learned of my Scottish heritage, nor would I have learned as much about my own biological Trueblood family.

Lane also made special efforts to research and honor our forebears, father and son, who served on BOTH sides during the War Between the States.

The father was in the Confederate Army, and his son served in the Union Army.

Lane made certain both of their graves were properly maintained, and sent me photographs.

I once was fortunate enough to meet with Lane and Holly while changing trains in Chicago, and Lane has generously supplied me with plenty of photographs with which I can fondly remember him.

You may wish to share this message with others related to the Trueblood family or who are involved in Clan Henderson and the Scottish community.

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

"My personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."