My Highland Kilt

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Well, I finally did it!

Yesterday, I ordered my kilt, along with all the other stuff I'll need to look like a respectable bard of an ancient Highland clan.

I spent almost two thousand dollars ($2,000.00) getting everything, and I had to go to several web sites to get my outfit just the way I want.

Of course, not all of that was spent on Scottish stuff, but most of it was.

I also ordered some study material from the American Radio Relay League, so I can earn my "GENERAL" amateur radio license, which will allow me access to high frequency two-way radio communication.

With my "TECHNICIAN" license, I'm very limited in the frequency bands permitted by the Federal Communications Commission.

Anyway, I should have my kilt in a couple of months, in plenty of time to be able to wear it to the annual Celtic Festival and Highland Gathering of Southern Maryland, which is always held on the last Saturday in April at Jefferson-Patterson State Park.

With the combination of back pay from Social Security and the life insurance from the Veterans Administration, I had quite a bit of money.

But I've spent most of it, and figured I'd better order my kilt and pertinent Highland regalia while I still could, before my money was completely gone.

I'll never have this chance again.

Boy, oh boy, I can hardly wait!

I still need to sort stuff out in my truck, so I can use it to go camping.

If I can manage my monthly income right, I should be able to start having fun driving out into the country or up into the mountains, where I can camp out and use my telescope for star gazing.

But, right now, I'm spending way too much buying goodies in our PX here at the Old Soldiers' Home, while constantly watching television or using my computer and simultaneously pigging out on goodies is making me fatter and fatter and fatter.

I'm a little worried that the Soldiers' Home hasn't yet collected the monthly user fee from my credit union checking account, which is automatic.

The expected deduction is now several days past when my fee is normally paid, and because it's now a new year, with my fee recalulated and increased, I can't be certain what the Soldiers' Home is going to be taking from my checking account.

I hope they don't take too much.

Not only that, I still have to start paying for my newly installed digital high definition cable TV and my high speed Internet connection.

Once I know what my monthly expenses are, I can better keep track of my money, but not knowing is making me uneasy and paranoid.

Because I spent so much ordering my kilt, I no longer have the funds to purchase concealed ballistic body armor or a night vision scope.

In the future, I may regret that, especially if I decide to volunteer on the Mexican or Canadian borders, or respond to a request to help protect someone's property.

I like to be prepared for everything, but I just can't do it all, can I?

Are you prepared for the national economy to collapse or an unprecedented natural disaster?

I reckon most folks don't like to think about such things.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."