Where The Deer Play

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

I've become increasingly reclusive, and today, I left my room for the first time in a couple of weeks.

Since it has gotten colder outside, I felt it necessary to start the engine on my pickup truck, and even to drive it around the grounds, just to keep everything in working order.

I've lived here at the Ol' Soldiers' Home, off and on, for several years now.

I've been all over the grounds, and am familiar with all the wildlife, - - - or so I thought.

I've seen the raccoons, oppossum, foxes, rabbits, squirrels, pigeons, geese, swans, ducks, and feral cats.

Other residents had told me there were deer on the grounds, but I thought they were joking, and never believed it.

After all, we're located in the very heart of the District of Columbia megalopolis, and the Ol' Soldiers' Home is completely fenced in, and regularly patrolled.

Shucky darn and gosh gee whillikers, I've lived here for years, and NEVER seen any deer.

But, today, while driving around in my pickup truck, I saw a whole HERD of deer!

There was a nice looking buck with a respectable set of antlers, and several does and fawns.

When I went to chow and told others about the deer, one of the individuals indicated the administration here at the Ol' Soldiers' Home is planning to remove all animals from this property.

That's because they've sold off a bunch of our land to developers who will build condominums and embassies, which will completely obstruct our scenic view of the Capitol dome and the Washington Monument.

I wonder if there's a way to use the plight of the deer herd and other wildlife to block this effort?

Doesn't the law require developers and the Soldiers' Home administrators to file an Environmental Impact Statement?

I wonder if there's some way we can organize a grass roots protest movement?

Who would we contact for legal assistance?

They've done so much to destroy the quality of life here at the Ol' Soldiers' Home.

Wouldn't it be great if'n we could figure out a way to turn things around?

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."