A COUPLE OF JOKES

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I just got a telephone call from my biological brother, who lives in Sapulpa, Oklahoma.

He and I were adopted as babies, and raised by different families, with different identities, in different locations, never knowing of each other's existence until we were grown men.

On the telephone, he told me a couple of jokes, which I'll now relay to you!

FIRST:

Some old paper currency was sent back to Washington, D.C. to be destroyed.

As they were travelling down the conveyor belt to the furnace, a one dollar bill struck up a conversation with a twenty dollar bill.

Said the one dollar bill, "I'll bet you've seen a lot of interesting things in your life, huh?"

Replied the twenty dollar bill, "Yes, I've been to casinos in Las Vegas four times, on Carribean cruises three times, and to more hotels, saloons, and parties than I can remember."

Asked the twenty dollar bill, "How about you? Have you seen any interesting places?"

The one dollar bill replied, "Oh, I've been in a Methodist church, a Baptist church, and a Presbyterian church."

The twenty dollar bill asked, "What's a church?"

NEXT:

A little old lady came to church one Sunday, and was met at the door by a friendly usher.

"Where would you like to sit, Ma'am?", inquired the usher.

"I want to sit in the front row pew, right in the middle." replied the lady.

The usher said, "Oh no, Ma'am, you don't want to sit there.  Our preacher is very boring, and he'll make you fall asleep during his sermon."

"Young man," the lady responded, "do you know who I am?"

"No, Ma'am." spoke the usher.

She replied, "I'm the mother of that preacher."

To which the usher asked, "Do you know who I am?"

"No," the lady answered.

"Good!", said the usher.

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