SHOCKING NEWS AT THE NAVAL HOME ! ! !

************************************** ************************************** Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: There was a meeting yesterday for residents of the Armed Forces Retirement Home in Gulfport, Mississippi. But, I rarely ever leave my room, and so, I've never been to one of those community meetings. Let's see - - - , today is Tuesday 17 May 2011, and the last time I left my room was probably - - - ? Maybe, it was last Friday? That's why I don't know much about the activities that go on around here. I only know about this particular event because I just happened to telephone another resident, Doris Jones, a retired United States Army nurse, and the only other member besides myself currently living here, of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints, to ask a question about our CPR class, and she told me that the guy from the administrative staff, Steve McManus (I think that's his name), who conducted yesterday's meeting, announced that FIVE (05) of our nurses, including the head nurse, had been FIRED for mishandling narcotics and patients' medication. Doris Jones How's that for a bit of news, huh? I wonder how they managed to get caught? I wonder if anyone was arrested or went to jail? Hmmm - - - , has our clinic been shut down? There's a nurse who works the midnight shift, Diane Holiday, who looks, acts, and talks EXACTLY like one of my favorite Hollywood actresses, Renee Zellweger. Renee Zellweger The resemblance is downright uncanny! Gosh, gee whillikers, I sure hope she didn't get fired. Rebecca Capps is a nurse who works the day shift, and I sure hope she didn't get fired, either. She was the nurse who processed me in when I first arrived here, and she was telling me how folks in Mississippi are so friendly, even to the point of being nosy. She said Mississipians like to eat and they like to talk, and when they visit, they want to know EVERYTHING about each other. You do know, don't you, that Elvis Presley is a native of Mississippi? Elvis Aron Presley For the best effect, please be sure to enjoy watching, in "FULL SCREEN" mode, this selection of an automated series of my homemade amateur video recordings of ME(!) strumming my guitar and singing some songs done by Elvis: Well, it's time for chow here in our mess hall. But, rather than leave my room, I'm thinking of splurging and ordering out for a pizza. Hmmm - - - , Pizza Hut or Domino's? Ahhh - - - decisions, decisions, decisions! What the Sam Hill is going on? When I placed my order at the Pizza Hut web site, it wouldn't go through. Worse, when I telephoned my local Pizza Hut franchise, the gal who answered the telephone couldn't be understood because she was obviously hired because of her race, and not her ability to communicate clearly. So, I attempted to send a complaint to Pizza Hut corporate headquarters, but the complaint form froze up and wouldn't go through. When I attempted to order a pizza from the Domino's web site, the web site froze up there, also. Well, I reckon I'll just microwave some goodies here in my room. Maybe that big ol' spicy beef, bean, and cheese chimichanga? Hey, what's the difference between a chimichanga and a burrito? They look identical to me. For the best effect, please be sure to enjoy watching, in "FULL SCREEN" mode, this slide show consisting of photographs I have taken here of the Armed Forces Retirement Home in Gulfport, Mississippi. Thank you. John Robert Mallernee Official Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Gulfport, Mississippi  39507 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions do not represent my Scottish clan." ************************************** **************************************