ODDS AND ENDS

********* WARNING ! ! ! ********* This dangerously illegal and immoral subversive underground resistance message is being surreptitiously monitored by the Beaming Internet Government Broadband Radio Oscillation Telecommunications Hearing Electronic Reconnaissance (i.e., B.I.G. B.R.O.T.H.E.R.) as part of a coordinated official clandestine domestic surveillance investigation, in cooperation with the National Administration of Zealous Interrogation (i.e., N.A.Z.I.) and the Commission On Message Monitoring Investigative Electronics (i.e., C.O.M.M.I.E.). Serious felony criminal charges are pending, with extreme penalties yet to be determined! **************************** Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: I have a personal question for you, which I hope makes you suspicious, because you should be suspicious when some unseen stranger on the Internet (like me?) asks you this question. What do you do when you have an envelope full of money that you want to keep safe? As for me, I can't remember ever having an envelope full of cash. Come to think of it, what's "cash"? I just now got through watching an old episode of "THE PATTY DUKE SHOW". Patty Duke's character, Patty Lane, tried to hide the money under a desk blotter, but the envelope was so fat, the desk blotter wouldn't lie flat. Next, she tried to conceal it behind a picture hanging on the wall, but the envelope fell to the floor. She started to hide it inside a dictionary, but decided that folks would be using that dictionary. Finally, she chose to hide it inside a book on the shelf. But, guess what? That was a library book that was overdue. Sooooo - - - , Can you figure out what happened after that? After "THE PATTY DUKE SHOW", I watched an old episode of "MISTER ED", and learned some more trivia. Mister Ed has a niece named Edwina II, who is a racehorse. Also, Mister Ed, the Posts, and the Addisons live in Hollywood, California. All the times I've watched that show, I never knew they lived in Hollywood. Maybe you might find those obscure facts useful at some point in the future. Now, here's another bit of unusual news. Did you know I'm a "living legend"? Did you know I'm an "epic guy"? Did you know I have an "epic voice"? I didn't know it, either, but it's nice to know that someone else thinks that. Those unexpected compliments represent some of the responses to my videos on the YOU TUBE web site. It's too bad I couldn't have done that stuff when I was younger, better looking, and in the peak of health. Maybe I'd have made some money, huh? Or, better yet, maybe girls would have liked me! Well, even if it is too late in life, I'm just glad of the contemporary technology which permits me to share my music with the rest of the World, at least, for the moment, while my declining physical health still allows it. Here at the Armed Forces Retirement Home, I tend to spend most of my time alone in my room, surrounded by bad memories, which generally leave me feeling like my life has been a failure, and thus, as an individual, I truly don't amount to very much. Serendipitously, those unsolicited comments from anonymous total strangers really cheer me up, and at just the right moment. Maybe, it's important for each of us to more frequently say nice things about each other, so we can boost each other's spirits? Who knows what sort of good we might unknowingly accomplish by accidentally cheering up a fellow human being in their moment of personal crisis? After all, don't we all experience similar trials at various points in our lives? By the way, just in case you think I'm merely on an ego trip (which I probably am), I also receive numerous insults in response to my videos on the YOU TUBE web site! Hey, if you want to perform for the public, then you have to be able to accept the bad with the good. But, oh, that "good" feels sooooo goood!!! It's like the feeling you get when performing on stage and receiving applause. There's nothing on Earth that matches it. No wonder professional performers suffer intense bouts of depression, because you can't maintain that intense feeling for very long, before the self doubts start up again. I can see why lethal drug abuse can become a temptation, because how do you relax after a performance, when you're so excited, and how do you wake up to get ready for your next performance? Nifty stuff, huh? Heh! Heh! Heh! God bless ALL of you! Thank you. John Robert Mallernee Offical Bard of Clan Henderson Armed Forces Retirement Home Gulfport, Mississippi  39507 NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions do not represent my Scottish clan."