MY NEW WHEELCHAIR

******************************** ******************************** Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:  For the best effect, please be sure and view this SLIDE SHOW consisting of photographs of my brand new wheelchair issued to me yesterday in Biloxi, Mississippi by the Veterans Administration Gulf Coast Veterans Health Care System, in "FULL SCREEN" mode.   It is brand spanking new, right off the lot, fresh from the factory, and custom built, with zero mileage on the odometer, unlicensed, unregistered, illicit, illegal, unhealthy, and immoral. It is my high performance, amphibious, all wheel drive, air droppable, automatic, systematic, ultramatic, hydromatic, pneumatic, flexomatic, outlaw "GREASED LIGHTNIN'" chick magnet!     Yeah, Baby, we're racin' for "pinks", and I am YOUR bad, bad, baaaad, evil, wicked boy! As soon as I get paid, I'll order some goodies from the US CAVALRY web site, the CHEAPER THAN DIRT web site, and the AMAZON web site, so I can militarize this vehicle for combat operations in the field. Hmmmm - - - , now, how am I going to mount a Confederate Battle Flag on this thing? Displaying a "BONNY BLUE FLAG" would be REALLY neat! Most folks who ignorantly evince their hatred for the Confederate Battle Flag, are easily fooled, having no idea what they're looking at when they see a "BONNY BLUE FLAG", for they don't know its history or what it represents. I was just looking at the PARALYZED VETERANS OF AMERICA web site. Membership is FREE, and they have a chapter right here in Gulfport, Mississippi. For years before I got this wheelchair, I used to constantly receive gifts and solicitations from the PARALYZED VETERANS OF AMERICA, which made me wonder (and I still do) - - - , "What is it they seemed to know that I didn't?" At the time, I thought the injury to my back while serving in the United States Army was a minor thing. On the other hand, my officially designated physician, Doctor Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, a veteran of the United States Army from Crabapple Cove, Maine, who served for over ten years during the Korean War (from 1972 until 1983), and presently is on the Gold Team at our local Veterans Administration Gulf Coast Veterans Health Care System, says I have a bad back, that I will ALWAYS be in pain, and that he can't give me anything stronger than the medication he's already prescribed. In the past few weeks, Dr. Pierce's had the hospital staff doing all sorts of x-rays, scans, and tests. Personally, because of the numbness in my fingertips, plus the spasms and contractions in my legs, with my legs collapsing on me, combined with my relatively rapid deterioration, I suspect the early stages of Creutzfeldt-Jacob Disease. I can only HOPE that my suspicions are wrong, but - - - , Sure as Sam Hill shootin', SOMETHING ain't right! Xin loi. By the way, up until now, I've been a bit concerned about my burial expenses, because I have no insurance, except for accidental death, et cetera. However, thanks to recent public reactions to announcements by President Obama (or whoever he is), Vice President Biden, Senator Feinstein, et alii, of their planned impending violations of our divinely inspired Constitution of the United States of America and our unalienable rights that we were born with, some of my personal property has suddenly and dramatically increased in value. So, after my demise, whoever shows up here to claim my belongings, will find there is more than enough to have me properly laid to rest, with probably a comfortably good chunk of change left over. I just wish I could be there to enjoy seeing the fight over who's going to eventually get my stuff! NOLLAIG CHRIDHEIL AGUS BLIADHNA MHATH UR ! ! !  (Pronounced, "Nol-leek Kree-yell ah-gus Blee-ah-nah Vah Oor", that is Scottish Gaelic, literally meaning, "Christmas Hearty and Year Good New!")  GOOD HOGMANAY ! ! !  Thank you. John Robert Mallernee   Armed Forces Retirement Home  1800 Beach Drive, Unit 311  Gulfport, Mississippi  39507 ******************************** ********************************