FWT Homepage Translator

Saturday, January 12, 2013


Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

"Through early morning fog, I see 
Visions of the things to be."

Thus, begins the opening verse of, "SUICIDE IS PAINLESS", the theme song from the Hollywood movie and television series, "M*A*S*H".

It's presently 0700 Hours on the morning of Saturday 12 December 2013.

Oh, my goodness, do you realize what that means? 

TOMORROW is Friday, the Thirteenth!

That's right, Folks, according to the classic "POGO" comic strips which I'd regularly read in the pages of our local newspaper, the "FAYETTEVILLE OBSERVER", when I was a boy, Friday, the Thirteenth comes on a SUNDAY this month!

Do you know one of the really tough things about growing old?

Nobody except me remembers reading "POGO" comic strips, or knows who Pogo Possum is.

What about YOU?

Do YOU know about, or remember, Pogo Possum, Ally Gator, and the Okefenokee Swamp?

I didn't think so.

Anyway, I just now woke up and staggered from my bunk.

Outside of my wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling windows, there is a fog that is so dense, you can slice it with a knife, dip a spoon into it, or watch your hand disappear into it.

That's why I'm having so much difficulty typing this e-mail, because my hand disappeared in the early morning fog.

The view from my room is actually quite lovely and stimulating to the imagination.

Why else would I deem it worthy to write to you about it?

Can't you see what I'm seeing?

One of the reasons I so enjoy the location of this room is because I love watching stormy weather and changing seasons.

Ah, but - - - , it's always Summer here.

The Gulf Coast of Southern Mississippi doesn't have any seasons - - - , except for the seasons they use when cooking shrimp and rice.

Anyway, the very latest breaking news reveals that outside my window, Keesler Air Force Base and Biloxi, Mississippi have completely vanished, having been erased during the night by a humongous onslaught of enemy nuclear missiles.

The railroad tracks have also disappeared, so there ain't gonna be no more choo-choo trains.

When you look towards where the heaving ocean whitecaps used to be, you see that Christopher Columbus' crew was CORRECT!

Our planet Earth really is flat, and when you reach the edge, there ain't NOTHING there!

Oops - - - !

I just now heard an INVISIBLE choo-choo train go chugging by.

I reckon it must be one of those ghost trains they make movies about, huh?

Hmmm - - - ,

Why do I suddenly find myself lapsing into speaking with a BRITISH accent, and with a strange craving for steak and kidney pie, with plum pudding?

"Bob's your uncle!"

Thank you.

John Robert Mallernee 
Armed Forces Retirement Home 
1800 Beach Drive, Unit 311 
Gulfport, Mississippi  39507


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