TELEVISION TREATS AND SNACKS

******************************************* ******************************************* ______________________________ ********* WARNING ! ! ! *********  This dangerously illegal and immoral subversive underground resistance message is being surreptitiously monitored by the Beaming Internet Government Broadband Radio Oscillation Telecommunications Hearing Electronic Reconnaissance (i.e., B.I.G. B.R.O.T.H.E.R.) as part of a coordinated official clandestine domestic surveillance investigation, in cooperation with the National Administration of Zealous Interrogation (i.e., N.A.Z.I.) and the Commission On Message Monitoring Investigative Electronics (i.e., C.O.M.M.I.E.). Serious felony criminal charges are pending, with extreme penalties yet to be determined!  ************************************** Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space: One of my favorite activities is being a "couch potato", sitting in total darkness late at night, and snacking on delicious goodies while watching a favorite movie on my brand spanking new SCEPTRE 32" LED wide screen combination TV/DVD player that I purchased and had delivered from the Wal-Mart web site.  A newly discovered favorite TV snack is shredded beef taquitos, purchased at the nearby Wal-Mart. Another treat that I've only just now invented (patent pending - - - , from which I expect to earn millions of dollars without breaking a sweat or lifting a finger!) is mixing Pepsi-Cola with whipped cream. Doesn't that kind of remind you of the television series, "LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY", where they would drink milk and Pepsi? That was written into the show's script, because in real life, milk and Pepsi actually is Penny Marshall's favorite drink. The way I fix my drink is to fill to the brim of my Clan Henderson large pewter tankard (which is my favorite drink container) with the whipped cream, and then, ever so slowly, bit by bit, gradually add the ice cold Pepsi-Cola. Mmmmmm, boy, but that is plumb larrupin'! So, y'all are welcome to enjoy the drink I invented, but don't forget to send me the royalties. I just got through watching one of my favorite Hollywood movies, "WHAT A WAY TO GO!", made in 1964, starring Shirley MacLaine. In addition to being a delightful comedy, the star of that movie VERY closely resembles a girl I dated many, many years ago, when we were both living in Portland, Oregon. I was so poor and penniless, that when we got engaged, she purchased the ring. She'd tell me that, "We'll live on love and eat the babies." Ain't love grand? Ah, but that was so many years ago, and when I was inducted into the United States Army and was sent to Germany, she sent me a "Dear John". "Mox nix." "Xin loi." "C'est la vie, c'set la guerre, c'est la mour." Have you ever been hit with the sudden realization and/or wonderment about how fortunate and blessed you are? In spite of the debilitating travails of old age, aggravated by my constant physical pain, loneliness, and existing from month to month on a minimal pension, I get that feeling almost every day, and it's an undefinable emotional sensation that just totally overwhelms me. In fact, I am so well off that I actually wonder if, because of my sinful and rebellious nature, if I'm already doomed to spend all of eternity in Hell, and that the reason I'm so blessed at the moment, is because our Heavenly Father is doing whatever He can to make my present life as pleasant as possible, since I'm inevitably destined for the torture of eternal damnation. I don't know. What do you think? Then again, maybe the reason I marvel at how well off I am today, is because I have vivid memories of a much harsher existence years ago, when I had nothing at all, not even a hope for a future, and thus, was forced by circumstances to endure unspeakable horrors in a terrifying situation. Something else that I've come to realize over and over again, is that the older I get and the more I learn, the more I realize how truly ignorant I am. For instance, in my old age, I am divorced and alone because, regrettably, I know nothing of how females think and feel, or how to properly treat a female in a courteous and chivalrous manner. I'm fascinated by the beauty, grace, and talent of females, but I can't begin to fathom why or how they do the things they do. Ain't life wonderful? Thank you. John Robert Mallernee  Armed Forces Retirement Home  1800 Beach Drive, Unit 311  Gulfport, Mississippi  39507  ______________________________ ******************************************* *******************************************