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Friday, August 31, 2007

THE GATHERING 2009

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Are any of you of Scottish descent?

I received an e-mail yesterday informing me of THE GATHERING, which will be the largest ever international gathering of Scottish clans.

It will be held in Holyrood Park on 25 and 26 July 2009.

There will be Scottish games, a parade of clans up the Royal Mile, and a pageant at Edinburgh Castle.

Anyway, if anybody wants to go, they've got almost two years to make their plans.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Just Learned A New Song For My Repertoire

Brothers and Sisters:

Well, I've snapped out of my depression long enough to learn another song.

It's been so long since I've picked up my guitar, that the callouses are gone from my fingertips, so now, it hurts to play.

But, that'll go away rapidly, as I develop new callouses.

I just hope I can continue to maintain an interest in life, and summon up the energy to keep on practicing my music.

Anyway, I've become quite enamored of Iris DeMent, and as I type this e-mail, I'm listening to her singing on my computer.

I recently used the Internet to purchase two (02) of her albums, INFAMOUS ANGEL and MY LIFE.

One of my favorite songs sung by Iris DeMent is TROUBLESOME WATERS, a Gospel song composed by Maybelle Carter, E. J. Carter, and Dixie Deen.

Here are the lyrics:

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TROUBLESOME WATERS

Composed by:
Maybelle Carter, E. J. Carter, and Dixie Deen


VERSE # 1:

Troublesome waters,
Much blacker than night,
Are hiding from view
The harbour's bright light.
Tossed on the turmoil
Of life's troubled sea,
I cried to my Saviour,
"Have mercy on me!"


CHORUS:

Then gently, I'm feeling
The touch of His hand
Guiding my boat
In safely to land,
Leading the way
To Heaven's bright shore,
Where troublesome waters,
I'm fearing no more.


VERSE # 2:

Troublesome waters
Around me do roll.
They're rocking my boat
And wrecking my soul.
Loved ones are drifting
And living in sin.
The treacherous whirlpools
Are pulling them in.


VERSE # 3:

When troublesome waters
Are rolling so high,
I lift up my voice
To Heaven and cry,
"Lord, I am trusting.
Give guidance to me,
And steady my boat
On life's troubled sea."

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Ain't that some kind of a beautiful song?

You should hear the music.

I've memorized it and can play it on my guitar, but I can't do it nowhere as well as Iris DeMent.

Anyone familiar with the mountains and traditional Country music will recognize the name of one of that song's composers, "Mother" Maybelle Carter.

I wrote a "snail mail" letter to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir requesting that they consider inviting Iris DeMent to be a guest performer on a future broadcast of MUSIC AND THE SPOKEN WORD.

I don't know if they'll even get the letter, or if they'll bother to read it.

Anyway, I just enjoy this unique music so much, that I wanted to share it with you.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Movie Critique: "THE GREEN BERETS"

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

I just finished watching THE GREEN BERETS, starring John Wayne, on the American Movie Classics cable television channel.

Although FORREST GUMP, CASUALTIES OF WAR, and GARDENS OF STONE more accurately depict my own experience as a soldier in Viet Nam, those movies are definitely NOT family fare, and the purpose of my movie critiques is to review and recommend movies which the whole family, small children included, can enjoy watching together.

The first time I ever saw THE GREEN BERETS, it was 1968, and I had just completed my Basic Combat Training at Fort Lewis, Washington, and was undergoing my Advanced Individual Training (i.e., "A.I.T.") attending the Field Radio Relay and Carrier Equipment Repair Specialist (MOS 31 L 20) course at the United States Army Southeastern Signal School at Fort Gordon, Georgia.

Have you ever attended a movie being shown in a military theatre?

It's a little different than going to a movie downtown.

For one thing, the admission is (or was?) a lot cheaper.

I think I paid a quarter, but it might have been a little more.

The first thing that happens is that everybody stands at attention while the National Anthem is played.

Then, we see coming attractions and a cartoon.

Then, the feature film starts.

Actually, I can remember a time when we saw even more than that.

There was a time when a news reel, a short subject, and a second feature film were also included in the evening's fare.

Anyway, when this movie was shown, I was a brand new soldier, and hadn't been to Viet Nam.

But, many in the audience had been there very recently, and they hooted and jeered at the obvious (to them) mistakes throughout the film.

Since I have also been to Viet Nam, I can now see why those guys were laughing.

No, this film appears to have been shot at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, where I was a boy (my father was a career Army sergeant), and no, the terrain doesn't look anything remotely like Viet Nam.

Everything is too clean, and open, and organized.

The buildings and water towers are obviously at Fort Bragg, because everything is painted white, and there are no sandbags or concertina wire piled up.

Caucasians don't look like Vietnamese, not even when they wear Vietnamese clothes.

Toy guns made by Mattel don't look like the real M-16 rifles made by Colt.

I've walked on the beach in Da Nang, and the sun sets in the West, not the East.

The North Vietnamese Army and the Viet Cong use different flags.

The movie shows both forces using the National Liberation Front (i.e., the "Viet Cong") flag, and never shows the North Vietnamese flag.

All of the equipment in the movie is shiny and painted with bright colors.

Many of the aircraft are painted with orange markings, which means they are only used for training purposes within the United States.

In Viet Nam, our equipment was painted flat non-reflective olive drab, and deliberately allowed to be muddy and dusty, in order to blend in with the surroundings.

I did enjoy watching them jump from a C-7 Caribou, because I once flew on a C-7 Caribou, from Bong Xon to Chu Lai.

In the movie, guys wear suits and ties, or if in uniform, they are wearing Class "A" dress uniforms or Class "B" uniforms while in Da Nang.

During my two years in Viet Nam, I never once saw anybody wear a Class "A" dress uniform or a suit and tie.

We were forbidden to even possess any clothing except jungle fatigues.

There was only one exception.

When the 101st Airborne Division left Viet Nam, we were issued Class "B" khaki uniforms to wear on the flight from Da Nang back to the United States.

When we landed at Fort Lewis, Washington, we were issued a Class "A" dress green uniform to wear home.

Because our society was so divided against itself over the controversy of the Viet Nam war, with so many young men deserting the ranks or refusing to serve, THE GREEN BERETS was a blatant, if comical, effort to produce a gung ho propaganda film, and probably the only movie about Viet Nam that even attempted to put a positive spin on America's military policy.

Another thing that takes place in the movie is a sad commentary on how badly and how quickly our contemporary society has deteriorated, thanks largely to general acceptance of homosexuality in our midst.

In the movie, a Special Forces soldier invites a Vietnamese orphan to share his bunk, and the orphan boy snuggles up and drapes his little arm over the soldier's chest.

Remember way far back when something like that was totally innocent, and there was no sinister implication?

They couldn't show that in a movie today, could they?

How do we return to our former innocence?

How do we cleanse ourselves of the evil that pervades our midst and menaces the future of all posterity?

Shall we employ the tried and true techniques of organized vigilante night riding?

THE GREEN BERETS, even with its inaccuracies, is still a good commentary on a bit of American history.

I recommend this movie for the family, and urge both Mama and Daddy to watch the movie with their little ones, so they can answer questions and offer appropriate counsel.

It was my war, and I'm glad I went.

Please pass the popcorn.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Friday, August 24, 2007

MOVIE CRITIQUE: "THE EMPEROR'S CLUB"

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Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

I just finished watching THE EMPEROR'S CLUB, starring Kevin Kline, which was broadcast in high definition on a local cable television channel.


 

This show is sort of a combination of GOODBYE, MR. CHIPS and DEAD POETS SOCIETY.

I recognized Dr. Joel Fleischman from the NORTHERN EXPOSURE television series.

Here now is the tricky part, i.e., describing this movie without ruining the story for you.

It is about an exclusive boy's college preparatory school, with emphasis on ancient Mediterranean civilizations, and the struggle over personal integrity at every stage of contemporary life.

Objectionable material would be the affair between a teacher and a married woman.

The movie never shows the couple doing anything sexual, but the implication is there.

Also objectionable is hearing the teacher say "Oh, God!" when he obviously isn't praying, or even seriously referring to divinity.

Would you want someone like that to be teaching your sons, especially when you'd paid thousands of dollars in tuition and fees for education at the very finest private academy?

But, despite these relatively minor infractions, I think, that with parental guidance, this movie is ultimately clean enough for the entire family to enjoy watching together.

At the very least, it may stimulate your young'un's curiosity about the contributions of ancient Latin and Greek civilizations.

The young'uns might even be encouraged to indulge themselves in a bit of independent research.

Who knows what intellectual seeds may be thus planted?

Please pass the popcorn.

Thank you.


John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS

Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Google Earth Updated!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Do you have the GOOGLE EARTH program on your computer?

I use it, and have a lot of fun playing with it.

With GOOGLE EARTH, I can spy on the Mexican Border, revisit my old Army posts, see places I used to live, et cetera, et cetera.

Well, guess what?

They just updated the program.

Now, you can use GOOGLE EARTH to look into Outer Space!

Ain't that cool?

So, even if you already have GOOGLE EARTH installed on your computer, you need to go back to their web site and download the latest version.

They even have a technical discussion group on YAHOO!

Ain't this nifty?

What a wonderful age we live in!

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

URGENT: Telephone Identity Theft Scam!!!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Here is a press release from the Federal Bureau of Investigation regarding a telephone scam:

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PRESS RELEASE:

The Federal Bureau of Investigation is providing a warning to the public against an ongoing scheme involving jury service.

The public needs to be aware that individuals identifying themselves as United States Court employees have been telephonically contacting citizens and advising them that they have been selected for jury duty.

These individuals ask to verify names and Social Security numbers, then ask for credit card numbers.

If the request is refused, citizens are then threatened with fines.

The judicial system does not contact people telephonically and ask for personal information such as your Social Security number, date of birth or credit card numbers.
If you receive one of these phone calls, do not provide any personal or confidential information to these individuals.
This is an attempt to steal or to use your identity by obtaining your name, Social Security number, and potentially to apply for credit, credit cards, or other loans in your name.
It is an attempt to defraud you.
If you have already been contacted and have already given out your personal information, please monitor your account statements and credit reports, and contact your local Federal Bureau of Investigation office.
Local Federal Bureau of Investigation field office telephone numbers can be found in the front of your local telephone directory or on www.fbi.gov.
For further information, please review the warnings posted on the United States Courts web site at www.uscourts.gov, "NEWSROOM" news article "WARNING: BOGUS PHONE CALLS ON JURY SERVICE MAY LEAD TO FRAUD", 19 August 2005.

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As you can see, this was initially announced a couple of years ago, but I'm only just now aware of it.

If you decide to share this information with others, please be considerate and conceal the identities of multiple recipients.

If you don't know how to do that, just ask your kids to show you.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Visiting Suzy

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

During the wee hours of Sunday morning, I loaded up my white 2004 Ford F-150 XLT pickup truck and began driving to Windsor, Virginia to visit my sister, Suzy, and her family.

It was still dark when I arrived, so I sat in my pickup truck listening to music and waiting for daylight.

Shortly after dawn, Louis Stephens, wearing his police uniform, walked outside to get into his patrol car, and told me it was okay to go ahead and ring the doorbell, as everybody was now awake.

As we visited during the day, Suzy cooked me up a huge plate of her homemade lasagna, with three (03) slices of her garlic bread, washed down with a cold bottle of O'Doul's alcohol free beer.

They had fed me a cheeseburger and potato chips earlier, so I didn't think I could eat it, but it was so delicious, and the company so enjoyable, that I easily cleared my plate.

My big plan was to find a nice dark open area where I could unfold my chaise longue and set up my telescope.

The chaise longue was so I could lie back and enjoy viewing the Perseids meteor shower, and the telescope was so I could look at Mars, all of which was supposed to happen during the wee hours of Monday morning.

Well, they figured I could probably see everything from their backyard, and I agreed.

So, for the very first time since I'd purchased it, I unpacked my Meade ETX-60 telescope, and I thought I'd correctly followed instructions for orienting it towards Polaris.

Things didn't quite go as well as I'd hoped.

I never could get my telescope properly aligned.

I still don't know why.

Anyway, Mars was below the horizon, and by the time it did appear, clouds had formed to block the view.

There were tall trees in every direction, so the horizon was blocked, leaving only the sky directly overhead available for clear viewing.

It dismayed me to learn, that due to adjacent businesses and surrounding communities, there was also as much light pollution in the back yard of a private home in Windsor, Virginia as there is right here in the middle of Washington, D.C.

I did use my chaise longue to lie back and look at the sky, where I witnessed a few meteorites, including three (03) that were spectacular celestial fireworks.

They were beautiful white fireballs, and behind them was a tiny gap, followed by a long firey trail, seeming to try to spray sparks

But, before the meteor shower could peak, clouds formed overhead, so I gave up and went inside to grab a few zzzzzzs.

During the time I was stargazing in the back yard, I enjoyed listening to freight trains rumbling through the area.

The passing trains caused the neighbor's dogs to bark and fuss.

I was imagining the poor puppies were probably quite frightened.

Imagine you're a dog, sleeping in a cage, under some dark trees, while your human is away, sleeping in their house.

All of a sudden, you're awakened by a deep, ominous rumbling, along with some odd wailing and howling, and the whole earth shakes, as this great invisible monster moves from one point to another, with your kennel right in the middle of the invisible monster's path.

You're just a pooch, all by yourself, with no human to comfort or reassure you, and it's dark, and you can't run away.

Those doggies must have been traumatized with terror.

Back in the house, the kitty cats didn't fare so well either.

One of the kitty cats, Pumpkin, kept me company, curled up comfortably snoozing in an easy chair as I stretched out on the sofa.

At one point, I started to get up, but in doing so I kicked over a wooden TV tray, making a sudden loud clattering noise.

So, I started to rise to my feet, in order to pick things back up.

Terrified, Pumpkin ran from the room, never to return until next day.

Yes, imagine you're a comfortable kitty cat, sound asleep in a darkened room.

All of a sudden, you're rudely jolted awake by a loud sharp noise.

Then this stranger, who is BIG, with hairy bushy whiskers all over his face, begins very slowly (due to arthritis) rising up in the darkness, with creaking, crackling joints and bones, all the while, mumbling, muttering, groaning, and moaning.

I'm sure that poor puddy tat must have thought it was seeing FRANKENSTEIN, WOLFMAN, JEKYLL AND HYDE, or NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, all suddenly come to life, and looming right over him.

Because Washington, D.C. is such a dangerous place to drive, I always time my trips so I leave during the wee hours and arrive during the wee hours, in order to avoid the greatest amount of traffic congestion.

So, I spent all day Monday visiting with Sue, her husband Mike, their daughter, J.J., her husband Louis, and their boys, Tyler and Ryan.

Sue and Mike, who both recently retired from teaching school, took me to Smithfield with them, and showed me houses where they used to live and schools where they used to teach, and it was a pleasant diversion crossing the James River into Newport News.

That afternoon, when Louis had donned his police uniform and was going to work, I used my Kodak Easy Share Z710 digital camera to make a video of him saying goodbye to the baby, getting into his patrol car, and driving towards town.

Later, I made a video of the two little boys gleefully giggling and romping on the carpet, as Mama and Grammaw looked on.

I even managed to get one of the kitty cats, Pumpkin, into the film.

Still later, I filmed Mike playing his twelve string guitar and singing a rock ballad.

After that, I filmed Mike feeding his beagles, Bounce and Gypsy.

I then experimented with the computers trying to store and play the videos I just recorded.

Since every computer is different and every computer operator is different, this didn't go so smoothly.

But, eventually, I was successful, and now we have some nice home movies to watch.

They did request that those home movies not be shared on the Internet, and I agreed.

I'm keeping them in my computer and on my flash drive.

Maybe I'll burn a CD or DVD.

I've never done that, and there's no reason why I shouldn't.

Driving back into the District of Columbia became a little more complicated, as the information being given by my Tom Tom GO 510 apparently was out of date, due to recent changes from highway construction.

Luckily, I had plenty of fuel, and after a while my GPS guided me onto the correct route back to the Soldiers' Home.

I even was able to stop at a gas station to top off my tank, a survival habit one should always practice in this city.

Exhausted, I slept through the day, waking in time for supper.

I was going to just eat in my room, but the menu said they had rice pudding in the mess hall, and boy, do I love rice pudding!

So, now, I'm back in my room, writing this all down, to be posted in my blog.

Ain't the Internet plumb wonderful?

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Friday, August 10, 2007

Iris DeMent

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Have you heard of Iris DeMent?

I just ordered two (02) of her albums from her web site.

I love listening to her sing!

She is pure old fashioned mountain music, like the stuff I remember from my boyhood in North Carolina.

Just like me, she writes all her own songs, all about her childhood, her large family, and her small rural home town in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas.

Listening to her sing, I wish my father was still alive, because I know he'd love hearing this.

I first heard her perform on Garrison Keillor's A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION radio program, and I saw her in the motion picture, SONGCATCHER.

If you listen closely to how she pronounces her words, you can detect the strong influence of a distant Scottish heritage (or am I merely imagining that?).

At her web site, if you click on "JUKEBOX", you can listen to five (05) of her songs, in their entirety.

There's actually six (06) songs on the JUKEBOX, but the first song, OUR TOWN, the song that made her famous, is messed up.

No matter, you'll like the others, and it doesn't cost you a cent to listen.

The two (02) albums I ordered are INFAMOUS ANGEL and MY LIFE.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Meteor Shower This Weekend!!!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Oh, no!

As I'm typing this, the clock indicates it's NOON!

Do you realize what that means?

At noon, the train pulls into Hadleyville!

Frank Miller is on that train!

"He made a vow
While in State's prison,
Vowed it'd be my life
Or his'n."

Uh oh.

Did you look at the calendar?

Friday the Thirteenth comes on a Monday this month!

(You do remember the old POGO comic strip, don't you?)

I just checked with the NASA web site.

During the wee small hours of Monday morning (which is when Friday the Thirteenth is this month), you can walk outside and view the annual Perseids meteor shower.

The meteor shower actually has already started, and lasts for a couple of weeks.

But, the most spectacular part will be around 0200 Hours on Monday (which is when Friday the Thirteenth is this month).

You also will have an excellent view of Mars.

I think I'll drive out into the country and set up my telescope.

It's best to view the meteor shower with your naked eye, but I will use my telescope to look at Mars.

I've got to get far away from Washington, D.C., with all its light pollution, traffic congestion, and violent crime.

So, in which direction shall I drive?

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Utah Coal Mine Disaster

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Concerning the disastrous cave-in at the coal mine in Huntington, Utah, there's a rather odd aspect of this that I've not seen anybody mention in any news source.

According to the news, three of the trapped miners are Mexican nationals, and their families, gathered at the local junior high school, do not speak English.


I want somebody in the news media asking the questions that are on my mind.

Are those miners or their families in this country illegally?

If so, was their language barrier a contributing factor in the mining disaster?

Do Mexican miners customarily work at a lower standard of safety and/or competence than their American counterparts?

Was the mine owner trying to save money by hiring illegal immigrants?

Maybe further investigation into this mining disaster should result in both criminal prosecution and civil liability.

I saw something else on the news that also aroused my suspicions, but I don't want to address that issue in a public forum.


Needless to say, if I'm noticing these irregularities, then somebody responsible also ought to be delving ever deeper into this case.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Monday, August 06, 2007

Chocolate Thief

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Have you seen this incredible news report about a thieving squirrel in Helsinki, Finland?

This is too cute to be legal.

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CHOCOHOLIC SQUIRREL STEALS TREATS FROM SHOP

A Finnish squirrel with a sweet tooth heads to a Finnish grocery shop at least twice a day to steal "Kinder Surprise" chocolate-shelled eggs.

"I named it the Kinder-squirrel, after the treats. It always goes after them, other sweets do not seem to interest it as much," the manager of the store in Jyvaskyla, central Finland, told Reuters.

The confectionary, which is intended for children, has a toy inside.

"It removes the foil carefully, eats the chocolate and leaves the store with the toy," Irene Lindroos said.

Unfortunately, the bushy-tailed thief does not clean up after itself, but leaves the wrappers behind, she added.

Squirrels have a well deserved reputation for being clever and adaptable animals.

Many a home owner has seen the small rodents raiding their supposedly "squirrel-proof" bird feeders.

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I love it!

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Mitt Romney, Et Cetera

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

I've been sitting here watching the news on television, and I wanted to comment on a couple of things.

First of all, on the news, they were talking about Mitt Romney running for President, and they showed a clip where he got upset and acted defensive because someone was questioning his Mormon faith.

Well, I didn't like that!

Why should he be defensive and decline to discuss his Mormon faith?

Why would Mitt Romney publicly say, "I'm not running as a Mormon"?

As someone who is a convert (i.e., a true believer) in the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints (i.e, the "Mormon" church), I think Mitt Romney certainly SHOULD run as a Mormon.

After all, it is a basic part of our faith that the Constitution of The United States is a sacred document inspired by God, and that the United States of America is the "Promised Land", blessed by God above all other nations on the Earth.

How much more loyal and patriotic can you get?

But, Mitt Romney wants to waffle and apologize and make excuses.

As a young man, he did serve a full time mission for the Church, but did he ever wear the uniform of the United States military?

Was he ever in harm's way?

Did he ever risk his life for this nation - - - or anything else of lasting value?

Well, it is true that none of the other presidential candidates (so far as I know) ever donned a military uniform or dodged enemy bullets.

But, that raises another question.

Why can't we get political candidates who've "been there, done that"?

Why are the candidates ALWAYS these wealthy, intellectual, elitist snobs, whose lives are insulated and over protected?

All I'm trying to say is, if the guy is a Mormon, then he should stand by his faith, and not be apologetic.

What's he afraid of?

Of course, the fact that Mitt Romney was elected governor of an anti-American totalitarian communist state, Massachusetts, certainly doesn't recommend him.

I wonder if he knows what's in the Constitution of the United States?

He's indicated regret that he has ancestors who were polygamists, and he's expressed regret that there was a time when black men could not be ordained to the Priesthood.

Does he apologize for being white?

Is he a Mormon in name only?

Another item in the news that got my attention was the massive loss of firearms and body armor given to the Iraqi government by our Armed Forces.

Pundits are asking if those missing weapons are now being used by enemy forces to kill American soldiers?

I wonder why the United States government didn't donate those rifles, pistols, and body armor to its own citizens - - - us?

We really need that stuff - - - especially here in the District of Columbia!!!

Just imagine what life would be like if every law abiding citizen was properly armed and equipped?

Boy, oh boy, it would sure cut down on the opportunities for violent crime or attacks by foreign terrorists.

If, in addition, our government would issue a Declaration of War against Mexico, with an accompanying roundup of illegal immigrants, we could stop a lot of our problems almost immediately.

Do you realize today was a silent unobserved national holiday?

There were no parades, no parties, no picnics, no celebrations or observances of any kind.

Why not?

Are we ashamed and embarrassed to be the first and only nation in the entire world who has successfully waged nuclear war against a foreign power?

Yes, today, 06 August, was the anniversary of the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima, Japan in 1945.

We should be proud of that.

We saved a lot of lives, and shortened the war.

As I sat here watching television, I ate my supper, with a can of fruit cocktail for dessert.

The fruit cocktail was delicious, but the lead alloy content in the can and in the spoon has affected my brain.

Now, I have become a neurotic sociopathic psychotic cereal killer.

I plan to kidnap some oatmeal, drown it in water, and boil it alive.

Then, despite the oatmeal's screams of agony and tearful pleas for mercy, I'll begin slowly biting and chewing it, piece by piece.

Eventually, there will be no oatmeal.

I plan to do the same thing to cream of wheat.

The police can't stop me.

I'm much too smart for them.

I know where the cereal is, and it cannot escape.

Anyway, I'm not really me.

I'm actually somebody else, and I'm only pretending to be me.

That other guy, he's the guilty party.

It's all his fault.

I'm completely innocent.

Of course, I'm also not really me.

So, how do you know who is guilty of murdering all the cereal?

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."