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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

New Cowboy Boots!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

A little while ago, United Parcel Service delivered my brand new cowboy boots that I had ordered from Shepler's, using my computer.

They are black roughout leather, with pointed toe, classic cowboy heel, and a thirteen inch shaft, with fancy stitching.

I tried them on and - - -

Boy, oh boy, these are the most COMFORTABLE boots I've ever had on my feet!!!

I can't believe how good they feel!

And these boots cost me less than a hundred dollars!


Well, I'm starting to feel a wee bit better, but I've been really sick.

I ate like a glutton, and now my body's paying the price.

Yesterday, I fixed a big, hot meal with a package of Uncle Ben's roasted chicken flavored rice, a can of Libby's corned beef, and topped with two or three slices of Kraft singles sliced American cheese, all cooked in my microwave oven.

I drank Pepsi-Cola with my meal, and for dessert, I ate Oreo cookies and drank a can of ice cold O'Doul's alcohol free beer.

Boy, what a feast!

Today, I had two HUGE salami and cheese sandwiches, plus about three or four honey sandwiches, followed by a handful of Oreo cookies and Pecan Sandies cookies, along with Pepsi-Cola.

Boy, was I siiiiick!!!

I've been coughing my guts out all day long, and trying to keep my nasal passages clear.

Obviously, I can't eat a lot of cheese, even though I love it.

I might have contracted Mad Salami Disease.

I've heard tales that it's become a growing problem on the ranches out West, where there are many herds of salami.

Also, some salami are wild, and hunters will find them running free up in the high country.

Herds of salami are shipped to market, and if they are unhappy, and have caught the common cold, then you wind up with cases of mad salami disease.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

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