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Thursday, May 29, 2008

Memorial Day

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY ! ! !

Yes, I'm being sarcastic - - - VERY sarcastic!

I consider it an insulting aberration what our politicians, bureaucrats, and public media agencies are currently doing to pervert and distort our traditional Memorial Day.

Today, Friday 30 May 2008, is actually my sister's birthday, but it's also when I choose to observe Memorial Day.

I just ignore the mandated Monday federal holiday.

To me, Memorial Day is supposed to be ONLY on the Thirtieth of May, and not any other date.

Memorial Day is a date to be solemnly observed, and not celebrated.

We should not be having parades and concerts on Memorial Day.

That is grossly inappropriate.

Memorial Day and Veterans Day are NOT synonymous.

Memorial Day is to remember and respect the military personnel who are deceased, especially those who died while in service.

Veterans Day is to honor the living veterans.

Veterans Day is appropriate for parades, concerts, and public celebrations.

So, today, Friday 30 May 2008, I'll observe Memorial Day by remembering my military comrades in arms who've given their lives serving our nation, while celebrating my sister's birthday.

On Tuesday 11 November 2008, I'll arrange my medals on my chest, and celebrate, by marching in a parade, and/or participating in a concert or party, as it is proper for us living military veterans to celebrate on Veterans Day.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Medal of Honor

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

This will break your heart and make you proud.

The President of the United States of America, George W. Bush, has announced that Specialist Ross A. McGinnis will posthumously be awarded the Medal of Honor in a ceremony at the White House on Monday 02 June 2008, just two weeks shy of what would have been his twenty-first birthday.

I just looked at his MY SPACE page, which I found after accessing the links on his MEDAL OF HONOR web site.

There are several videos at that official MEDAL OF HONOR web site.

He was just an ordinary kid who did something extraordinary when it counted most.

Think about it - - - he could have done what he was trained to do and lived.

He still would have been regarded as a hero.

But, with not even a split second to think about it, he deliberately chose to sacrifice his own life, so that the other four men would survive.

This is what Jesus Christ taught us, i.e., "
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
"

Ironic, isn't it, for a kid who describes himself as "Atheist"?

Atheist, or not, he's certainly earned his place in Heaven.

"
Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
"

I also noticed his birthday, and the day he chose to join the
United States Army, is the same as the birthday of the United States Army, i.e., the Fourteenth of June.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Friday, May 23, 2008

Side Effects of Gasoline Prices

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, I saw a news headline indicating the price of gasoline may increase to twelve dollars a gallon.

How will that affect our security down on the Mexican Border?

Most of the volunteers protecting our border are retirees, living on a fixed income.

If those elderly or disabled unpaid volunteers can no longer afford gasoline or groceries, it'll leave our border unguarded and wide open for massively catastrophic invasion and infiltration.

What about my Scottish clan and the planned international gathering of clans next year in Scotland?

I wonder how many of us clansmen can continue to attend local Celtic festivals or Highland gatherings?

I'm guessing a lot fewer clansmen will be at the international gathering in Scotland than had previously planned on it.

Likewise, I'm wondering how it will affect members of my own chosen faith, the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints?

Many members will no longer have the financial means to be able to travel distances to attend services.

Surely, there are some planning on serving full time Church missions who will not be able to do so.

The increasing cost of gasoline and diesel doesn't only affect personal vehicles.

It also will cause the cost of everything else to increase, including groceries, utilities, and medical care.

As people get more desperate, congested urban areas will become more dangerous.

Racial and ethnic groups will become more polarized and prone to violent confrontation.

People who are known to be unarmed will be the first victims, and thus, the most severely impacted.

In some locations, laws must be changed so citizens can be legally armed and free of prosecution when forced to defend life or property.

On the other hand, that might not matter, if the increasing costs and shortages result in the inability of conventional government bureaucracy to function effectively.

On the local news, there has been suggestions and discussion of possible Congressional legislation to control the price and availability of gasoline.

That would be disastrous, for in case nobody has thought about it, that is the very definition of National Socialism, i.e., the Nazi Party and the Third Reich.

Also, using the oil stored in our National Petroleum Reserve is a VERY bad idea, as that should be kept for a genuine emergency, and indeed, the current situation actually warrants increasing the amount of stockpiled oil, due to our uncertain future.

We were warned that this problem was coming, not because of lack of oil production, but because natural disasters had shut down some of our vital refineries.

So, we immediately need new refineries, as quick as possible.

There's a couple of reasons why the price of a gallon of gasoline is so high.

First, the majority of the price, probably around eighty per cent, is taxation.

Second, although no one ever mentions it, gasoline is only a miniscule portion of what crude oil is used for.

Just about everything we have, use, or see, is made of plastic, and plastic is made from petroleum.

So, those are my thoughts and observations on the subject.

My proposed solutions are:

First, build more refineries, as quickly as possible.

Second, enact legislation that will protect citizen's inalienable rights to be armed and to protect life and property.

Third, continue to build up the emergency stockpile in our National Petroleum Reserve, and leave it untouched.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Thursday, May 22, 2008

My New Frog

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

I just now received my new sword frog from THE INNER BAILEY in Providence, Kentucky.

Now, I can hardly wait to wear my sword to the next Celtic festival or Highland gathering.

Unlike my old frog, this new one allows my sword to hang down below and outside of my Argyll jacket.

Of black leather, with nickel fittings, it was made especially for me by Harold Perrin and Susan McKenzie, who have manufactured Medieval leather goods for Broadway plays, motion pictures, television shows, reeactment groups, and festivals.

I was lucky to get mine when I did, because they've ceased taking any new orders, due to a HUMONGOUS pending special order for a wedding.

Including shipping, my total cost was thirty-three dollars and ninety-five cents.

I'm very pleased with this product.

On Friday the Thirteenth, I'm scheduled to attend the United States Army's birthday party at the Pentagon.

I haven't yet decided whether or not I'll wear my kilt to that event.

But, even if I do go there attired in full Highland regalia, I'm certain they won't permit me to wear my sword or dirk.

However, I did purchase an imitation sgian dubh (it has no blade) to tuck inside the top of my hose.

So, I reckon the next time I'll be wearing my sword will be the following day, when I attend the Potomac Celtic Festival in Leesburg, Virginia.

Actually, that is REALLY when the Army's birthday is.

I reckon the Pentagon celebrates on Friday the Thirteenth, so nobody has to work on Saturday.

Now, what I'm looking around for is a retired or active duty Marine sergeant to teach me the sword drill manual.

I've seen and read the manual on the Internet, but I want someone to walk me through it, step by step, so I can get it right, and be able to properly perform during a Highland regimental ceremony.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

New Cowboy Boots!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

A little while ago, United Parcel Service delivered my brand new cowboy boots that I had ordered from Shepler's, using my computer.

They are black roughout leather, with pointed toe, classic cowboy heel, and a thirteen inch shaft, with fancy stitching.

I tried them on and - - -

Boy, oh boy, these are the most COMFORTABLE boots I've ever had on my feet!!!

I can't believe how good they feel!

And these boots cost me less than a hundred dollars!

Wow!

Well, I'm starting to feel a wee bit better, but I've been really sick.

I ate like a glutton, and now my body's paying the price.

Yesterday, I fixed a big, hot meal with a package of Uncle Ben's roasted chicken flavored rice, a can of Libby's corned beef, and topped with two or three slices of Kraft singles sliced American cheese, all cooked in my microwave oven.

I drank Pepsi-Cola with my meal, and for dessert, I ate Oreo cookies and drank a can of ice cold O'Doul's alcohol free beer.

Boy, what a feast!

Today, I had two HUGE salami and cheese sandwiches, plus about three or four honey sandwiches, followed by a handful of Oreo cookies and Pecan Sandies cookies, along with Pepsi-Cola.

Boy, was I siiiiick!!!

I've been coughing my guts out all day long, and trying to keep my nasal passages clear.

Obviously, I can't eat a lot of cheese, even though I love it.

I might have contracted Mad Salami Disease.

I've heard tales that it's become a growing problem on the ranches out West, where there are many herds of salami.

Also, some salami are wild, and hunters will find them running free up in the high country.

Herds of salami are shipped to market, and if they are unhappy, and have caught the common cold, then you wind up with cases of mad salami disease.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

More Volunteer Work For My Computer!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

As many of you already know, for the past several years, possibly even longer, I've been using my computers as a volunteer in the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (i.e., S.E.T.I.), which analyzes radio data collected from Deep Space, in an effort to discover signs of intelligent life forms existing elsewhere in the cosmos.

The global volunteer project is coordinated through the University of California at Berkeley, using the Berkeley Open Infrastructure for Network Computing (i.e., B.O.I.N.C.) program.

For those of you who are too quick to laugh, you should know that an intelligent signal WAS very briefly detected on 15 August 1977 by Dr. Jerry Ehman at Ohio State University's Big Ear Radio Observatory.

The famous "Wow!" signal lasted a little over a minute, but was never detected again.

It's exact origin, meaning, and purpose remain unknown, although it was detected in the constellation, Sagittarius.

Anyway, I am now using my BOINC program to participate in some additional volunteer data analysis projects.

My computer has just now begun processing data in Climate Prediction, which is operated by the University of Oxford.

Also, I'm using my computer to analyze data for the World Community Grid.

They do a multitude of scientific research projects, but the one my computer is presently engaged in is developing a more nutricious rice crop for the World's population.

I like that, because rice is one of my favorite foods.

The other project I'm using my computer for is to research cryptanalysis for Graz University of Technology in Austria.

I picked that project because I love playing with code puzzles, both creating them, and solving them.

If you want to put some of that unused memory in your own computer to good productive service, then become a volunteer in these global scientific research efforts.

There's a whole bunch of projects you can choose from.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Monday, May 12, 2008

Armed Forces Day

Comrades in Arms:

I just now looked on my calendar and noticed that this coming Saturday is Armed Forces Day.

A search of the official web site for the Pentagon indicates no activities are planned for Armed Forces Day.

A search of the official web site for the Armed Forces Retirement Home indicates no activities are scheduled for Armed Forces Day.

So, what are YOU planning to do for Armed Forces Day?

The Armed Forces Retirement Home does have a bus trip scheduled for Friday for the annual air show at Andrews Air Force Base.

But, Friday is not Armed Forces Day.

Also, the last time I went on a bus trip from the Armed Forces Retirement Home, the bus drove off and abandoned me.

So, I'll never again go on an Armed Forces Retirement Home bus trip, and I'll continue to warn other residents about what happened to me.

So far as I can tell, the management and staff of the Armed Forces Retirement Home are completely unaware that this coming Saturday is Armed Forces Day, and nothing special is scheduled for our mess hall or our theatre.

I imagine that most of our fellow Americans also do not know, nor do they care.

As an Army brat growing up at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, I have fond memories of Armed Forces Day, with its static displays of military equipment, demonstrations by Special Forces, and parachute jumps.

We'd also visit Pope Air Force Base and tour through many of the aircraft, such as the C-124 "Globemaster", the C-119 "Flying Boxcar", and the C-130 "Hercules".

Years later, as a soldier, I made several flights on C-130s in Viet Nam, and in the United States, I once flew on a C-124.

When my father was stationed at William Beaumont General Hospital in El Paso, Texas, we went to White Sands Missile Range for Armed Forces Day, where we observed Sergeant missiles, Corporal missiles, Navy Talos missiles, Nike Ajax missiles, Nike Hercules missiles, and Nike Zeus missiles, with live fire demonstrations shooting down drone aircraft.

Nifty, huh?

Yes, especially if you're a kid.

It's one of the benefits of growing up in an Army family.

When I was a soldier at Fort Hood, Texas, my First Cavalry Division really put on a show, complete with horses, sabres, and bugles, for the Cavalry has lots of gung ho spirit, which they like to refer to as "elan".

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Writing To Full Time LDS Missionaries

Brothers and Sisters:

I just now learned of the DEAR ELDER web site, which makes it easy for us to compose and send letters to full time missionaries of the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints.

For some missions, delivery is free, while others require varying expense for postage, depending on location.

I used my credit card to create an account, because the missionaries I'll be corresponding with are in mission fields which do require postage for delivery of mail.

A full time sister missionary has not yet left the Mission Training Center in Provo, Utah, so letters to her are delivered free.

When she departs the Mission Training Center, her particular mission field does require postage for mail delivery.

A letter to an elder serving here in Washington, D.C. also requires postage for delivery.

This web site also permits purchasing and shipping of Care Packages for the full time missionaries.

The contents of the Care Packages will vary, depending on which mission field it is destined for.

Night parachute drops in hostile areas are slightly extra, and the price may increase, depending on how much ammunition is expended during the operation.

Even though I'm merely joking, as an old military war veteran, it suddenly occurs to me that the creators of this web site ought to include access to Latter-day Saint military personnel, since it is official Church policy (which unfortunately, is too often ignored) that Latter-day Saints serving in the Armed Forces are to be accorded the same status as full time missionaries.

In that regard, I just now finished e-mailing an inquiry to the managers of that web site.

Some full time missionaries, and some mission fields, have web sites posted.

In addition to Missionary Stories, there's also a collection of "Dear John" letters!

I've taken advantage of this opportunity, and written my first letters to two full time missionaries.

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Fiji Water - - - It's No Joke!

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Well, folks, I thought I was being funny, but, the joke is on me, after all.

FIJI Natural Artesian Water is a major international business, with a web site URL, and their product is promoted as the World's purest and healthiest drinking water.

There's a LOT of information there, with menus and submenus galore, a whole bunch of stuff on which to click your computer's mouse.

I'm especially grateful to my good friend, Bill Norvell, a retired Army sergeant residing in San Angelo, Texas, for giving me this information.

He said he learned of this several years ago when he was working as a security guard at an airport, and was given a guided tour of a private jet from Fiji.

Nifty, huh?

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Monday, May 05, 2008

Stirring Up Trouble

Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Recently, I was visiting my sister in Virginia, and we went to Wal-Mart to buy some cat food.

While there, we observed a sale on cases of bottled water imported from Fiji.

Not quite believing what I was seeing, I searched the labels on the containers, and sure enough, that water had been imported from Fiji.

Can you believe it?

Why would Wal-Mart sell bottled water imported from Fiji?

I can think of two (02) possible reasons.

First, the United States of America has run out of water.

Second, all of the available drinking water in the United States of America is contaminated.

So, our situation is urgently dire, and we must quickly employ extreme measures.

Please do your patriotic Christian civic duty.

Use your computer to help get this rumor started, so we can create a nationwide panic.

Ah, but, then again, why should we have to purchase bottled water from Fiji?

Let's saturate the place with nuclear bombs, and then, send in our paratroopers to TAKE that water!

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

Sunday, May 04, 2008

MILK AND PEPSI?

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Greetings and Salutations to All my Kith and Kin and All the Ships in Outer Space:

Do you remember the television series HAPPY DAYS and LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY?

Do you remember what Laverne and Shirley's favorite drink was?

It was milk and Pepsi.

I just now mixed some Lactaid milk and caffeine free Pepsi Cola in my souvenir 101st Airborne Division mug.

Hmmm - - - it tasted okay.

But, to be sure, I'll have to try some more samples.

Maybe I should mix regular whole milk and regular Pepsi Cola?

Why were Laverne and Shirley hooked on milk and Pepsi?

Unfortunately, the television show neglected to indicate exactly how much Pepsi should be mixed with how much milk.

Also, in my initial experiment, I merely poured the two drinks together, but didn't stir them up.

Maybe I should mix them together with a spoon?

So, what are your thoughts or suggestions about drinking a blend of milk and Pepsi Cola?

How much milk should be mixed with how much Pepsi Cola?

What did you think about the television series, HAPPY DAYS and LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY?

I don't know why, but I always enjoyed deliberately mispronouncing it as, "Lah-Voyne and Shoy-lee", which is odd, since the show takes place in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and not in Brooklyn, New York.

I thought the two shows were really good when they first began.

But, LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY was ruined when they changed the location from Milwaukee to Los Angeles.

In fact, as the actors visibly aged, and the writers ran out of original ideas, the quality of both shows rapidly deteriorated, and the whole thing became so ridiculous, that I stopped watching anything but reruns of earlier episodes.

I hated watching the characters of Ciachi and Joanie, but I really enjoyed the character, Leather Tuscadero.

The characters on LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY remind me of a couple of gals I knew back in Portland, Oregon, who shared an apartment, and us crazy guys who were their ardent suitors, when I was twenty-one years old.

Did you know people like that?

Were you like that when you were young?

Did you, or do you, have a "Boo Boo Kitty" like Laverne and Shirley?

Many years ago, a girlfriend gave me a teddy bear for Christmas, whom I named, "Theodore Edward Bair", and wrote a song about.

But, eventually, he was decapitated when the stitches in his neck disintegrated.

I now have a little stuffed Koala (made in China) that a friend in Australia sent me.

Well, it's time for me to go get some chow in our mess hall.

I hope there's still some of that sinfully delicious chocolate layer cake left over from yesterday.

Mmmmm, boy!!!

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

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Saturday, May 03, 2008

YET ANOTHER AFRH BENEFIT TO BE LOST?

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Comrades In Arms:

Well, it looks like the administrative staff here at the Ol' Soldiers' Home has taken away yet another of our benefits.

I just looked at the menu for the month of May.

Guess what?

We ain't going to get no grilled steak!

Up until now, my understanding was, we get served one grilled steak dinner each month, whether or not the steak is any good or properly cooked.

Until a few months ago, it was always a rib eye steak.

But, then they switched to serving T-bone steak.

I don't know the difference, and I don't really care, because to me, beef is beef, regardless.

What's happening to the American economy, with the sudden increase in fuel and food prices, and the plunging value of the dollar on the World market?

Is that why we're not going to get our steak dinner in May?

Or is it the mad cow disease?

I can understand why a cow would be unhappy going into a slaughter house, and in fact, that cow might even be angry.

If that cow also caught a common cold while standing out in the rain, well, then you combine "Borden's mascot" with "emotionally upset" and "twenty-four hour virus", and what do you have?

Why, you have a mad cow disease, so I reckon we're all doomed, huh?

But, I was looking forward to inviting guests to enjoy our mess hall's monthly grilled steak dinner.

Mox nix.

I've already invited my guests to share the Mexican dinner scheduled for Cinco De Mayo.

Boy, oh boy, do I ever love Mexican food!

I wonder what our mess hall plans to serve on the two hundred and thirty-third birthday of our United States Army?

It won't matter to me, because I'm planning on attending the Potomac Celtic Festival in Leesburg, Virginia on the Army's birthday.

But, most of these other guys are not as well off as I am, and they're stuck here.

I wonder if the folks who run our mess hall even KNOW when the Army's birthday is?

It gets pretty darned depressing, doesn't it?

Thank you.

John Robert "SAIGON" Mallernee, KB3KWS
Official Bard of Clan Henderson
Armed Forces Retirement Home
Washington, D.C. 20011-8400

NOTE: "My unpopular and controversial personal opinions are independent of my Scottish clan."

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